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Vampires vs. the Bronx | 2020 | PG-13 | – 1.5.5

content-ratingsWhy is “Vampires vs. the Bronx” rated PG-13? The MPAA rating has been assigned for “for violence, language and some suggestive references.” The Kids-In-Mind.com evaluation includes a few flirting scenes, several vampire attacks that leave people dead (off-screen) and we see blood on the attackers teeth and long nails, several vampires are destroyed and we see them disintegrate into embers and piles of ash, teens discuss what kills vampires and street gang violence and gentrification, and at least 2 F-words and other strong language. Read our parents’ guide below for details on sexual content, violence & strong language.


When a real-estate company starts buying properties in the Bronx, and at the same time people start disappearing, three enterprising teens (Jaden Michael, Gregory Diaz IV and Gerald Jones III) suspect that vampires are behind the gentrification plot, and decide to put up a fight. Also with Sarah Gadon, Method Man, Shea Whigham, Coco Jones, The Kid Mero, Chris Redd, Vladimir Caamano, Jeremie Harris and Zoe Saldana. Directed by Osmany Rodriguez. A few lines of dialogue are spoken in Spanish without translation. [Running Time: 1:25]

Vampires vs. the Bronx SEX/NUDITY 1

 – A teen girl hugs a teen boy and he tries to kiss her, but she stops him and walks away. Three teen boys flirt with older 16-year-old teen girls in a few scenes. A woman dances briefly shimmying her shoulders and hips. Boys and girls run through an open fire hydrant spraying water on the street.
 Teen girls wear cleavage-revealing outfits in a few scenes.


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Vampires vs. the Bronx VIOLENCE/GORE 5

 – A vampire touches a woman’s shoulder and we see pale flesh and long nails as well as a tall figure with pale skin and large fangs (it is implied that the woman is bitten by a vampire) as the woman screams and the scene ends.
 A teen boy crashes his bike into a man on a sidewalk and the man spills a drink on himself; he yells at the boy, “I’m gonna kill you,” and chases him into a parking garage where the man holds a gun on another man that follows him there; the other man transforms into a vampire with long fangs and he mesmerizes the other man, bites him and lifts him into the air while the teen boy watches in terror (we see the vampire with blood on his teeth and mouth). A vampire flies after three teen boys, one boy is thrown against a wall and a vampire tries to bite him; the boy shoves a skateboard in his mouth, then breaks it in half and stabs it into the vampire’s chest causing him to fall back and disintegrate. A man becomes nervous when he can’t see a woman’s reflection on a CCTV screen; she becomes threatening and when she grabs him from behind her hand is burned by the crucifix around his neck, she sprouts sharp teeth, he swings a bat toward her and she breaks it and puts the man in a trance before biting him. A vampire bares her fangs and growls and a teen boy splashes her with holy water; the vampire sizzles and runs away. A vampire grabs a man by the throat, forces him to his knees, and threatens him. A vampire slashes a man with her sharp nails, he falls to the ground and we see blood on her fingers. A vampire attacks two teen boys, she bares her fangs as many people with weapons stand outside; a vampire grabs a woman by the throat, a teen girl throws a shoe at the vampire, a man burns the vampire’s head with a crucifix (we see a bloody burn mark) the vampire holds a boy off the ground by the throat and blows dust in his face, and a teen boy rides his bike toward the vampire and stabs her through the chest with a sharpened wooden bat (we see her disintegrate).
 Teen boys go into a building and find vampires hanging upside down from the ceiling; one boy climbs scaffolding and stabs one vampire in the chest with a wooden stake causing him to fall to the ground and burst into flames, another vampire is struck with a stake and bursts into flames and ash and another is splashed with holy water and disintegrates. A teen boy goes into a dark building and finds several closed coffins, he opens one and finds a vampire sleeping inside that is awakened when another boy’s phone rings and he chases the boys out of the building but stops when he is nearly struck by sunlight. A man dumps a body in a body bag into the trunk of a car (we hear a thud). A teen boy throws garlic adobo powder on a vampire and he sizzles; the vampire grabs the boy and the boy shoves a Eucharist wafer in his mouth causing him to burst into flames and ash.
 Four men with guns chase three teen boys and a girl; they encounter four vampires in an alley and shoot them several times each; the vampires fall back but revive and attack the men as the scene ends. A man seems threatening when he enters a lobby area as a woman closes the blinds and three teen boys seem scared; one boy falls out of a chair and onto the floor when they are in the man’s office. Three teen boys panic in a shop and run away. Three teen boys hide in a shop behind shelves after one sees a vampire attack and kill a man. A man gives a teen boy a gun and tells him to go out and rob places; the boy drops the gun, climbs out the bathroom window and runs away. A teen boy rides his bike and nearly runs into a woman on a sidewalk. Two teen boys argue and shove each other; one becomes upset when the other talks about his father having been shot down. A teen boy gives another teen boy a hard time when the first boy thinks the second boy is getting involved with a dangerous group. A man asks a teen boy to do something for him and the boy refuses. A woman threatens to hit her son “upside the head” when he gets in trouble with the police. Women (mothers and a grandmother) yell at teen boys when they get in trouble a few times. A priest grabs two boys by the shirts and says, “I’ll be watching you two.” Two teen boys sneak out of a church service and fill soda and orange juice bottles with holy water from a priest’s office. Teen boys arm themselves with wooden stakes, crucifixes, garlic and holy water. A woman yells at a man for letting her son watch a vampire movie.
 We see that vampires have no reflection in mirrors and do not show up in videos or photographs. Teens talk about sunlight killing vampires. Three teen boys watch a movie of a man slaying vampires and we see severed arms and bodies with a lot of blood.
 People talk about many missing persons flyers being posted in their neighborhood. People talk about cashing out and selling property to a real estate developer in a neighborhood. A teen boy complains of having low blood sugar. A man is described as a “familiar” and we are told that he is acting as a human servant for vampires.


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Vampires vs. the Bronx LANGUAGE 5

 – About 2 F-words, 16 scatological terms, 8 anatomical terms, 20 mild obscenities, name-calling (lil’ mayor, random lady, wicked, evil, Puerto Rican Harry Potter, vermin, gang-banger, buggin’, little rat, playa, illuminati, screw up, little heathen, big sexy, suck-heads, stupid, crazy, mad vague, dog, corny, day walker, ugly, shorty, nasty [anatomical term deleted], soft), exclamations (chill, shut-up, whoa, answer me, hey, watch out, oh, oh no, yo, oh my gosh, how cool, shhh, don’t, uh-oh), 7 religious exclamations (e.g. God, Oh My God, My God, Lord, El Diablo, Body Of Christ, Holy [scatological term deleted]). | profanity glossary |


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Vampires vs. the Bronx SUBSTANCE USE

 – Several men sit at a table on a sidewalk outside a shop and we see bottles of what looks like beer, and a couple of men hold bottles wrapped with paper bags (presumably alcohol).


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Vampires vs. the Bronx DISCUSSION TOPICS

 – Vampires, gentrification, family, friendship, sticking together, trespassing, community, respect, familiars, change.

Vampires vs. the Bronx MESSAGE

 – You can’t mess with the Bronx, especially when the whole community unites against nefarious gentrification interlopers.

CAVEATS

Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.

We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.

Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.


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PLEASE DONATE

We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.

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