The Machine | 2023 | R | – 5.8.10

Why is “The Machine” rated R? The MPAA rating has been assigned for “strong violence, pervasive language, drug use and some sexual references.” The Kids-In-Mind.com evaluation includes a couple of kissing scenes, non-sexual partial nudity, references to sex, many gunfire exchanges causing death and bloody injuries, several fight scenes with bloody injuries shown, a death by suffocation with a plastic bag, a beheading by a speeding train, a dog thrown out a window to its death, many arguments and insults, and over 70 F-words and other strong language. Read our parents’ guide below for details on sexual content, violence & strong language.

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After an encounter while traveling abroad in college, a man (Bert Kreischer) gets in trouble over something he stole from the ruthless head of the Russian mafia, and his family is threatened unless it is returned. Also with Mark Hamill, Jimmy Tatro, Iva Babic, Robert Maaser, Stephanie Kurtzuba, Martyn Ford, Jess Gabor, Rita Bernard-Shaw, Nikola Djuricko, Oleg Taktarov, Amelie Child Villiers and Aleksandar Sreckovic. Directed by Peter Atencio. A few lines of dialogue are spoken in Russian without translation. [Running Time: 1:52]

The Machine SEX/NUDITY 5

 – A fully nude man bathes in a small tub on the side of the road as people in a car pass by and one man in the vehicle says, “That’s uncircumcised” (we see the man’s bare back, buttocks and legs). A shirtless man reaches into his pants to apply cologne to his groin and he reacts like it stings (we see his bare chest, abdomen and back). A man pulls off his pants and we see him shirtless and wearing briefs (his bare chest, abdomen and legs to the hips are seen). A man is shown shirtless in several scenes and a likeness of him is featured on billboards (we see his bare chest, abdomen and back). A man’s bare abdomen is shown when his shirt is too small. A woman wears a robe that reveals cleavage. A woman wears a top that reveals her bare shoulders and cleavage.
► A husband and his wife kiss in a couple of scenes.
► A young man thrusts his hips against the floor at a party (resembling sexual thrusting).
► A young woman tells a young man that his fly is open and he is embarrassed (no flesh is visible). A man remarks about his daughter turning 16, and tells her that she is “exploding into womanhood.” People tease a man about his appearance and say that he has breasts (using crude terms) in several scenes. A man says, “I would pay to have sex with her,” about a woman that is referred to as a “whore.” A man asks another man if he used condoms while having sex with a woman.

The Machine VIOLENCE/GORE 8

 – A man has a nightmare of another man cutting off his genitals and we see the man’s bloody hands holding a bloody scrotum as the victim screams. A woman slits a man’s throat and a man punches the man with his fist pushing into the open throat wound (we see a lot of blood and watch as the man pulls his fist out of the open slit); the injured man is held out of an open train window and his head is torn off by a passing train causing the headless body to fall back into the train knocking the other man to the floor, and blood spurts from the neck wound onto the pinned man’s face. A man shoots a woman in the chest (we see blood on her shirt) and she falls off a moving train.
► A man shoots another man in the head, he falls and his weapon discharges shooting another man, who then shoots a third man (blood spurts and they all fall dead). A woman shoots a man in the abdomen and he falls to the ground with blood on his clothing. A man stabs another man in the chest (we see blood) and we hear squishing when he later pulls the knife out. When people are stopped at a Russian airport for having too many people on their plane, one man is smothered to death with a plastic bag over his head to reduce the number of people by one. A woman jumps on a man, beats him, and shoots him after breaking his arm (we see the arm bend unnaturally). A woman using a metal baton attacks several men and hits them repeatedly; she uses the baton to snap one man’s neck, the men shoot at her, she uses one man as a shield (he is shot repeatedly), she throws one man over a railing (we see him slam into a railing on the way to the ground below), and she shoots a couple of men (blood spurts).
► An injured woman is shown with bullet holes in her blouse (no blood is visible) and a sharp piece of wood is seen through her calf (a lot of blood is on the wood and her pants) and a man gags when he touches it and tries to remove it (he covers his mouth and vomits into his hand and puts it in his pocket and we see some goo on his beard); the woman tells him not to throw up or she will too, and they both gag repeatedly, he pulls out the piece of wood and faints (he then slams to the floor). A man holds a roulette wheel in front of his body as a shield when he is shot at and throws it hitting one of the gunmen; he fights several men and head-butts one man, a statue is tipped over onto another man, a man uses a large hammer to hit another man and another man falls on the point of a sickle (we hear a crunch and see him bloody).
► People on a train are held at gunpoint and told to hand over their possessions and money; people with knives go into cabins and threaten the people inside. A woman holds a gun on a man and shoots at a portrait on the wall shattering the glass. A man holds a gun on a woman and threatens to kill her, takes a dog she is holding away from her and throws it out of the window (presumably killing it). Two men fight and tumble down a flight of stairs (one man has a bloody knife wound in his chest); one man kicks the other man several times and he spits out a tooth and some blood. A man shoots at another man’s feet. Several dead bodies are shown in a bar car on a train (we see some bloody wounds).
► A man slaps another man hard in the face and he falls to the floor unconscious (we see saliva spraying from his mouth). A woman punches a man in the groin and he collapses to the floor gasping. A man pushes another man off a moving train and he lands hard on the ground (he is knocked unconscious). A woman slaps a man in the face as he enters her cabin on a train; he makes her take a ring from her finger and turn it over to him. A man claims to have “dad strength” and slaps another man hard in the face; the struck man seems unfazed and slaps the other man hard, knocking him to the floor (we see saliva spray from his mouth). A man punches a control panel and it shorts it out. A man is chased and shot at as he runs through woods; he eventually rolls down a hill and hits his head on a tree. Several men surround and push another man on a train platform, taking his possessions. A dog bites a man’s pant leg.
► We see and hear about a teen girl being arrested for driving with a learner’s permit when her father was very drunk in the car with her. A woman threatens to torture a man’s father and the two men are taken away by the woman as she holds a gun on them. A woman gives a man a stripped chicken and a shotgun as he leaves a small town.
► A man threatens another man and says, “I will make him watch you die.” A woman threatens to kill a man’s teen daughter. A man says, “I’m going to hell,” after killing another man. A man tells his adult son, “I knew you’d let me down.” A family is shown in a counseling session and they argue bitterly. A man criticizes his adult son and they argue in several scenes. A man says that his father is making him “mental.” A man tells his teen daughter that she will not be permitted to go away with her friends and says that they will drink beer and smoke pot and she storms away. A man claims to practice non-violence after having read Nelson Mandela’s book. A remark is made about someone having been tortured to death.
► A man enters a room and vomits (we see goo). A woman is shown with tattoos on her neck and a man has many tattoos on his chest, abdomen, neck and arms. A man shown on “Hot Wings” show gags after eating something spicy (he does not vomit). A young girl tells her father that the dog is “pooping in the pool.” A man says that he defecated on a pizza box. Graffiti on a wall reads, “Tom is fat.” A man applies cologne to his groin and reacts as if it stings. A man spits a mouth full of liquor in a woman’s face. An animated drawing shows machines functioning as internal organs.

The Machine LANGUAGE 10

 – About 74 F-words and its derivatives, 4 obscene hand gestures, 10 sexual references, 31 scatological terms, 27 anatomical terms, 12 mild obscenities, name-calling (hammered, monster, idiot, weak, dramatic, macho, albino, dumb, stupid, creepy, puritanical, Sasquatch, coddler, insolent child, [anatomical term deleted] boy, foolish woman, genius, crazy, Keith Richards, meanest, fat disappointment, Nazi), exclamations (hey, oh jeez, wow), 6 religious profanities (GD), 27 religious exclamations (e.g. oh my God, Jesus Christ, Jesus, Holy cow, Holy [scatological term deleted]). | profanity glossary |

The Machine SUBSTANCE USE

 – A man snorts a line of cocaine, people snort cocaine and drink liquor at a party, two men eat marijuana-laced brownies, a man eats a marijuana-laced brownie and seems to hallucinate, a remark is made about using steroids, and a man says he is “so high.” A man tells his teen daughter that she will not be permitted to go away with her friends and says that they will drink beer and smoke pot, people are shown passed out on a plane after drinking heavily, a man tells jokes about being “hammered,” a man says “I got high and I got drunk,” a man drinks beer in several scenes, people drink vodka from bottles in several scenes, people drink Lemon Drops at a party. A man smokes a cigar, and a man lights a cigar from a gun being fired.

The Machine DISCUSSION TOPICS

 – The Russian mafia, legends, family, actions and consequences, fear, reputation, the Soviet Union, imagination, cultural bonding, impulse control, wokeness, vulnerability, power struggles, parenting, balance, toxic masculinity.

The Machine MESSAGE

 – Find joy in every moment.