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Hellboy II: The Golden Army | 2008 | PG-13 | - 2.7.4
Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and the secretive Bureau for Paranormal Research and Defense are enlisted to defend humanity from Elfish leader Prince Nuada (Luke Goss), who is planning to wage war against humankind by reviving an army of invincible mechanical warriors, which has been dormant for centuries. Also with Selma Blair, Jeffrey Tambor, Doug Jones, Seth MacFarlane, Anna Walton and John Alexander. Directed by Guillermo del Toro. [1:50]
SEX/NUDITY 2 - A woman kisses the forehead of a demonic-looking character.
► A character tells a woman that she is pregnant after touching her stomach. A woman takes a pregnancy test.
► A demonic-looking character showers and we see his bare back to the hip and a demonic-looking character is shown bare-chested in a couple of scenes. A man is shown bare-chested while practicing martial arts moves with a spear. Women are shown wearing low-cut dresses that reveal cleavage. A woman sleeps wearing a tank top and boy-short underwear.
► We see a large stone statue of a female that is described as a fertility goddess (it has exaggerated breasts and hips).
VIOLENCE/GORE 7 - A demonic-looking character has red skin, horns (filed down to stumps), a tail and an enlarged hand that looks like it is made of stone. Another character bursts into flames when she wills it. Another character is part human and part fish and another character is a mist that wears what looks like a deep-sea diving suit.
► A man is swarmed by many large bug-like creatures that begin devouring him: we see the bugs covering him, we see the man thrashing (we see some blood and tissue) and we see his skeleton later. Another man is attacked by bug-like creatures: they crawl up his pant legs, they crawl on his head and face, they pull open his eyelids, they pull on his lips, and they drag him down a flight of stairs screaming. A bug-like creature jumps on a man, climbs into his shirt and begins biting him (we see blood spots appear on the man's shirt) while the man thrashes and screams.
► We see rubble and splatter on walls in a building after an attack and we learn that all of the people in the building were devoured by small creatures who eat the bones and flesh of their victims and leave behind a sticky red residue on the floor.
► A man throws what looks like an octopus onto a man's face, the creature envelopes the man's face and head, an eye blinks from the center of the creature (positioned at the man's mouth) and the man collapses (it is not clear if the man is dead). A man stabs a character in the chest with a spear, twists it, and the tip of the spear breaks off in his chest and he collapses (we see blood on his chest). A man cleans blood off a sword, and we see several dead bodies around him and a dog licks the blood from his hand.
► A man slices a man's head off with a spear (we hear the strike and see a very quick flash of red). A man stabs another man in the chest and the victim turns solid. A man with a sword fights many others with swords, there is slashing, crunching and screaming, one combatant is stabbed through the foot, another through the stomach, one has his head lopped off (we see it separate and fall on the floor) and a man and a woman are shown with bloody noses. A character shoots a creature, it punches him in the face, they fight and tussle, one pulls a loosened tooth out of his mouth and one is crushed in a roller machine. A character stabs herself in the chest (we see blood stain on her dress), and she collapses and turns solid. A man dies from a stab wound to the chest, and he turns to dust.
► Many metal warriors come to life and begin to fight with several characters: they are shot at, some are struck and fall, and several are stabbed and twitch. A large explosion throws a character out a window and he crashes onto the roof of a car in the street below. A large statue is rolled over and it crushes many bug-like creatures (we hear crunching, and we see corpses and goo). A character falls into spinning cogs and is nearly crushed a couple of times.
► In these scenes both humans and non-humans are depicted as puppets: A man tells a boy a story about magical beasts and a war between humans and an army of supernatural creatures; we see scenes of a battle and the humans are slaughtered (we see many dead bodies piled up on the ground after a battle and one is run through and lifted off the ground with the spear sticking out of his back). Several characters walk into a dark tunnel where we see many dead bodies.
► A large creature with tentacles (it looks like a huge plant) breaks up through a street, picks up and throws cars, and one is thrown into a helicopter which explodes; a character holding a baby runs from the creature, climbs a building, and shoots the creature, which collapses, spurts green goo and plants rise from its remains.
► A large creature with tusks beats up a character with punches and kicks, and throws him through a wall. A character punches a creature sending it through the air and into a cauldron of hot liquid (it squeals and thrashes). A character punches an elderly woman (she's a troll) hard in the face and she is thrown through the air and into a pile of metal. A character punches another character breaking the glass dome that covers his head; he collapses to the floor and a mist that filled his suit dissipates.
► Someone in a crowd throws something that strikes a character on the cheek (we see a cut with a bit of blood). A man holds a knife to a woman's face (we see a cut open and a cut opens in the man's face also).
► A large creature with a large mouth full of teeth throws two men around a room and a multi-tentacled creature thrashes two men around (this seems to be played for laughs). Two men are thrown through the air by a large creature with tusks and it roars, people scream and scramble to get away from it. Many locker doors swing open hitting a character repeatedly until he falls to the floor.
► A troll nearly eats a cat (we see the troll's face change as it opens its mouth wide and its eyes darken). A woman in flames yells at another character. A bug-like creature eats a human tooth, which it found on the floor. A dead bug-like creature inhales a mist that re-animates it, and it rants, then coughs and gags and dies again.
► A large, heavy metal door is thrown down a corridor where two characters walk (no one is hurt). A box of bug-like creatures is released into a crowded room (we hear the creatures screech).
► An elderly woman is identified as a troll and when we see her through a special lens we see a monstrous creature. A large animal-like creature has tusks and thick hair on its back. We see a demonic-looking character as a child and he has one pointed horn. Many different creatures are seen at a "troll market." We see a creature with large wings and many eyes. A stone giant breaks up out of the ground (it does not harm anyone).
► Two police officers hold guns on a character. Many men with swords threaten a man.
► A fishmonger cuts the heads off fish in a market. A creature has a growth on its chest that looks like a baby, but identifies itself as a tumor. A man has scars on his face and back and chest.
LANGUAGE 4 - 2 instances where characters say "Focused" with a thick German accent making the word sound obscene, 6 scatological terms, 3 anatomical terms, 1 "schwarstucker," 10 mild obscenities, name-calling (fish man, ugly, big ape, freak, chicken, dirty old troll), 4 religious exclamations.
SUBSTANCE USE - Two lovesick characters drink beer to the point of inebriation.
DISCUSSION TOPICS - Supernatural creatures, the destruction of humanity and the planet, mutations, being different, fitting in, truces, honor, twins, destiny, anger management, love, longing to be liked, inter-species relationships, extinction.
MESSAGE - Humanity is threatened by supernatural forces, but is both unaware of and ungrateful to those who help defend it.
CAVEATS
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
Heretic - 3.6.3
Conclave - 1.2.2
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever - 1.3.2
Memoir of a Snail - 6.6.4
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We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
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Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.