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Universal Soldier: The Return | 1999 | R | - 5.8.6

A military computer (which controls previously-dead soldiers who've been transformed into almost-indestructible super-zombie-computerized warriors) blows a chip, goes amuck and threatens the world with domination. Enter Jean-Claude Van Damme who proceeds to repeatedly punch, kick and shoot the computer and his minions. With Michael Jai White, Heidi Schanz, Xander Berkeley, Justin Lazard, Kiana Tom, Daniel von Bargen, James Black, Karis Paige Bryant, Bill Goldberg, Brent Anderson, Brent Hinkley, Woody Watson, Jacqueline Klein and Maria Arita. [1:19]

SEX/NUDITY 5 - One kiss and some mild sexual innuendo. A man tears a woman's shirt and glares at her cleavage. He threatens that he's going to violate her (nothing happens). We see another woman in her bra as she's changing clothes. We see several topless men flexing their muscles. During one extended scene in a strip club we see many topless women in thongs and high heels dancing and gyrating to music. A woman propositions another woman (she declines) and we see in a couple of women, and a man dressed as a woman, engaged in phone sex.


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VIOLENCE/GORE 8 - There are many scenes of mayhem and destruction and many men are shot and killed during several scenes. Their bodies jerk as they are hit but there is little blood. Several nearly indestructible super-zombie-computerized soldiers are shot but nothing much happens to them. Several men go through windows, some go down stairs, and two men fall from a building. Two more people jump from a building. We see several men on fire -- however we do not see them burned -- and two men are electrocuted. A zombie-soldier is hit and run over by a truck. We see him under the truck, with the tire pinning his arm down (he's actually only temporarily knocked out and is essentially unharmed); he also rams a concrete wall headfirst with minimum damage. A man is stabbed on the chest, and he pulls the bloody knife out. There are several martial-arts fights, with a lot of punching and kicking and some bone-breaking but little blood. A man is being operated on by a computer which uses a laser beam to cut a rectangle from the top of his bald head. In a close-up we see the rectangular skull piece being removed, a computer chip is inserted into his brain (this last scene is shown only on an X-ray monitor) and then the skull piece is put back and the incision is totally excised by the laser beam. A man and a woman are chased by machine-gun toting zombie-soldiers on jet skis. They exchange fire and several of the soldiers fall into the water. A man is frozen and when hit he crumbles in many solid pieces (no blood or other fluids are evident). A few men try to drown another man by holding his head under water. A young girl is in a hospital bed, unconscious, and with a big bump on her head. There are several explosions and a woman punches a man.


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LANGUAGE 6 - 9 F-words (one is not totally pronounced), several scatological terms, a few anatomical terms and several other profanities and insults.


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DISCUSSION TOPICS - The military and stupid military decisions, bringing the dead back to life, zombiefied super-soldiers, the loss of a parent, computers going haywire.

MESSAGE - You can't -- and mustn't -- trust computers. They can malfunction and decide to destroy the human race.

CAVEATS

Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.

We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.

Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.


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