Paul Blart: Mall Cop | 2009 | PG | - 3.5.3
Paul Blart (Kevin James) is a nice guy who has been unable to pass the state trooper exam because of a troublesome sugar imbalance, which causes him to pass out when his sugar level is low. Relegated to the local shopping mall as a security officer, he takes his job very seriously, but no one appreciates his enthusiasm. He gets his chance to prove his mettle when a group of thugs scheme to rob the mall bank on the busiest shopping day of the year. Also with Keir O'Donnell, Raini Rodriguez, Adhir Kalyan, Jayma Mays, Shirley Knight, Stephen Rannazzisi and Adam Ferrara. Directed by Steve Carr. [1:31]
- A man and a woman kiss and hold hands.
► A man and a woman fight in a store, the woman's shirt is pulled up and we see her bare back, abdomen and bra. An animated woman in a video game is shown wearing a low-cut top and a short skirt that reveal cleavage and bare legs. A woman wears fishnet stockings and a short skirt.
► A bare-chested young man talks to a man on the telephone about his girlfriend and that she makes him "feel alive" and that she has "sexy feet." A man offers a woman a ride on his Segway scooter, she touches his hands and they look at each other. A man and a woman talk and flirt. A man watches with admiration a security video of a woman working in a mall.
► We see a video of a man making somewhat suggestive gestures with the handle of his Segway scooter by dancing with it. An inebriated man plays with another man's ear, and then feeds him fruit.
► A man asks a woman if while he was drunk he tried to make out with her purse. A man says, "I'm having love sweats" while looking at a woman on a security video. A song playing as a ring tone has lyrics that include "You want to chew on my bubble gum."
- A man shoots another man in the arm (there's no blood). A man chases and shoots at another man, then swings a baton at him, striking him in the arm twice.
► A man jumps through the glass window of a moving elevator and grabs a man that's inside, another man jumps onto the outside of the elevator, and he is pushed off (we do not see him hit the ground). A man tackles another man and they fall through a skylight (they crash into a ball pit and are uninjured). A man attacks several people and we see them lying on the floor unconscious. A man is struck by a tank of gas that shoots across a room (he is knocked unconscious). A man tackles another man and strikes him with a skateboard.
► Several people are held hostage by robbers (the hostages include a young girl). A man and a woman chase another man riding on a Segway, the man hides in an air vent inside a store, the man and woman search for him and the man strikes the vent with a pointed pole that pierces the metal and nearly the hiding man, and the vent breaks, knocking the woman unconscious. A man head-butts another man, who falls to the ground unconscious. A man with a hockey stick strikes another man in the back of the legs and then in the crotch. A man grabs a man and shoves him into a tanning bed, slams the bed door on his head several times, and the man lies unconscious in the bed. A man sprays another man with hot sauce and it splatters in his eye (the man moans and stumbles but recovers). Two men threaten a man, and one kicks a seat out from under him and he falls to the ground. Two men throw a man out of his chair.
► A man shoots a mannequin several times thinking it's a man. Police approach a mall entrance, flash bombs go off and they run for cover. A man creates an explosive device that blows up, throwing another man through the air (we see him with some char on his face, but he's fine).
► Men with guns yell for people to leave a crowded shopping mall, and people run out screaming. A man threatens a woman and a young teen girl and then kidnaps them. A man with a gun comes into a bank and threatens customers and employees. Police officers with guns drawn surround a shopping mall. A SWAT team arrives at a shopping mall and prepares to enter by force.
► A man lifts an unconscious woman over his shoulder, he strikes her head on a doorframe, and then drops her on the floor (we do not see any injuries). Two women argue in a store over an item, a security officer tries to intervene, he and one of the women argue, she punches him in the face, they wrestle and punch each other, they throw each other on the floor and destroy store property (we see the man with a bloody nose and a bruised eye). Four people crash through the ceiling of a store and crash onto the floor (no one is hurt). A man tries to break through store doors and falls back to the floor (he is in pain and has a small scratch on his arm).
► Men in a van chase another van, one man tries to jump from the roof of one van to the other, but he misses and falls on the ground (he's OK). A dog chases a man on a Segway, the man tries to speed up to get away, the dog jumps and snarls at him, we hear a thud and a yelp and we understand that the man has hit the dog with the scooter (we do not see the dog). A man riding a Segway crashes into the back of a parked car that's on display in a shopping mall (he is unharmed). A man driving a 4-wheel motorized scooter is pulled over by a security officer for reckless driving, the man starts up again, knocks the officer down and drags him for a short distance (he is unharmed).
► A man runs through an obstacle course on foot during a police academy exam, he collapses and slides across the ground (he's OK, but has fainted from a Hypoglycemia attack). Men and a woman do skateboard tricks, acrobatic stunts and bike stunts in and around a shopping mall in several scenes (no one is harmed). A mall security officer is pelted by plastic ball pit balls thrown by children (he is unharmed).
► A man grabs another man and throws him off a small stage, and then throws himself back through a window in a shopping mall bar (he's drunk). A man falls onto a table after trying to walk across a booth where a man and a woman are seated (he's drunk). A man falls on the floor while dancing at a bar (he's drunk).
► A man tells another man to "waste the guy" and a man tells another man, "I'm gonna kill her first." A man says "I'm gonna off them" and "I'm gonna put a bullet in your head." A man says, "I set you on fire at the pancake festival" to another man. A man says "I'm gonna' throw up." A man gives another man a bottle of hot sauce that is labeled "Devil's Crotch."
► Two men have a nacho eating contest, one complains about the heat of the peppers and the other is shown with a lot of food in his mouth. A man smears peanut butter on a piece of pie and eats it. A man collapses on the floor when his blood sugar drops, he finds a sticky lollipop on the floor with dirt and dust stuck to it and he eats it. A man is sprayed with tanning spray (he spits and coughs).
► We see tattoos on a man's back: one is of the Loch Ness Monster at this waistband and there is a large feathered bird on his upper back.
- 4 sexual references, 6 anatomical terms, 4 mild obscenities, name-calling (fat, idiot, loser, pathetic), 8 religious exclamations.
- People drink alcohol in a bar and one man is shown drunk after guzzling numerous Margaritas.
- Hypoglycemia, success, failure, child abandonment, single parenting, illegal immigrants, disappointment, Bonnie & Clyde, loneliness, love, online dating, robbery, malls.
- With the right motivation, even the most unlikely can succeed.
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
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