"One of the 50 Coolest Websites...they simply tell it like it is" - TIME
Panda Plan | 2024 | NR | – 3.5.5
When a man (Jackie Chan playing himself) agrees to adopt a newborn Panda from a zoo in China, he discovers that he must defend his new companion from cutthroat mercenaries who have been hired by another man to retrieve it at all cost. Also with Xiang Wei, Ce Shi, Danny Ray, Andy Friend, Yanbo Han and Yuntong Huang. Directed by Luan Zhang. Several lines of dialogue are spoken in Mandarin with English subtitles, and others are spoken in an Arabic language with English subtitles. [Running Time: 1:39]
Panda Plan SEX/NUDITY 3
– A man yells when two men lock him in a cell and begin to remove their clothes; we see one man shirtless with his bare chest, abdomen and back visible and the other removes his pants to show his boxer shorts and bare legs to the thighs (nothing sexual occurs).
► A robot moves through a building and compliments women’s appearance in a few scenes.
► A baby rhino nurses from its mother and we see the exposed teat when two men pull the baby away and milk the mother rhino to feed a baby Panda. Women wearing grass skirts dance on a pier and we see cleavage, bare abdomens, and backs. Two men are shown bound and gagged wearing only their underwear (bare legs to the upper thighs are seen).
Panda Plan VIOLENCE/GORE 5
– Several motorcycles speed on a road and crash through a church window leaving the riders rolling on the floor among shards of glass; they open fire on each other and several people are struck with blood spurting and spraying and a few people fight with punches, kicks and throws, a man draws a sword, and a man is shot in the chest repeatedly and blood spurts as he falls to the floor (we see that this is a movie set with stage blood and no one has actually been harmed). Blood spurts on a man’s face when another man’s rigged vest accidentally sprays stage blood on him.
► Two men in a ring fight with heavy punches and kicks landing while other people holding guns chant and cheer; one man is punched hard in the face and falls to the mat unconscious and another man standing on a platform shoots a gun in the air to quiet the crowd. A man holds a drugged cloth over another man’s face to knock him out and another man watches in shock; the attacker then punches and incapacitates the other man while his cohort is stuck in an air vent and must be pulled out by the legs (both men fall to the floor unharmed). A man is held around the throat by another man that pulls against him over a railing and drops down causing a cracking sound and the held man’s eyes close; he revives and throws the other man down a flight of stairs.
► A man with a high-powered weapon sits in a room as several gunmen throw gas canisters in the room and another man threatens the man; the man pours coffee on a control panel shorting it out and the attacker holds him by the throat off the floor and then drops him when he falls unconscious. Many people are tied up in a room until the gunman holding them is distracted by his phone, and they untie each other, one man tries to take the man’s gun and he picks him up, firing the weapon in the air. A man holds another man at gunpoint and yells, “I’ll kill you.”
► Two men fight with punches and kicks and one man is held around the throat, one man is kicked and thrown back into a ball pit, one man is thrown into swinging logs, one man hides among bamboo fronds and uses them to whip the other man and he yells in pain; one man is slammed with a swinging log and crashes headfirst through a plate glass window shattering it and two men fall among the shards of glass. A man is struck in the back by a falling light post and protects a baby Panda from being struck; when the man stands up we see that the Panda has defecated in the man’s hand. Men with guns and a knife chase a man, a woman and a baby Panda, the men fight and one man sits on the back of another man as they go down a conveyor and the man being ridden slams into a container head first; more people with guns and knives fight with the first man and they climb up ladders and onto platforms; the woman walks across a beam followed by another woman, she drops the baby Panda to a man standing below and he catches it, and the man runs and falls into a crate filled with fruit. People fight and two men and a panda end up on a conveyor taken through a packaging machine; the baby Panda is wrapped in a box and the two men are wrapped together in a box. A man driving a forklift speeds through crates piled in a warehouse and crashes into several gunmen, throwing them and a man and a woman with a baby Panda in a box climb on the forklift and they speed away chased by gunmen; a gunman grabs the woman and the Panda is thrown in the air but caught by a man and uninjured.
► A woman grabs a man around the throat and holds him choking him, he struggles and she pinches his nipple causing him to yell. A vehicle is lifted off the ground by a forklift and dropped on a pole leaving the occupants yelling while the forklift speeds through a gate as it closes and other vehicles are trapped on the other side. A drone flies into a shelter where three people and a baby Panda are hiding and a man hits it with a piece of wood destroying it. A man threatens to throw a man off a ship and into the sea; the man protests and struggles with two men that take him away and he yells when they lock him in a cell and begin to remove their clothes (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details). A man with a gun enters a room and two other people kick him and fight with him; the gun is thrown and it fires (no one is struck); the people continue to fight with punches, kicks, throws, and they throw furniture at each other until one person lands hard on an overturned chair and falls unconscious and a man is struck in the head a couple of times with a metal tray knocking him out.
► Armed people drive through trees toward a compound and enter a large room with many people gathered and one man shoots a gun hitting a computerized kiosk and causing people to scream and take cover; they are then held at gunpoint. People in a control room are held at gunpoint and one person is struck in the head with a gun butt; one man is head-butted, lifted off the floor by the throat, he falls unconscious and is dropped to the floor. A man holding a baby Panda is chased by gunmen through a building. A man dressed in a baby Panda costume is chased by two gunmen, they tackle him and struggle exchanging punches; they pull the head off the costume and stuffing is thrown around, and the man is punched in the face and knocked unconscious. Two men fight in a baby Panda enclosure and one man is thrown through the glass and landing among people being held in the viewing area (one man has blood on his head). A woman holding a baby Panda runs through a building hiding from armed people and takes refuge in a stuffed animal display. A man and a woman walk along the top of a tall wall and the man throws the woman off to land on an inflated Panda balloon below; the man jumps off to follow her and they speed away in a car. A robot with a storage container on its back moves through a building and a baby Panda climbs out of the container when the robot parks. A man goes into a cell to save a woman inside and she hits him in the head with a clipboard several times not knowing who he is. A man takes a crate with a baby Panda to another man and he is greeted by armed security.
► A vehicle runs out of gas in an area marked “Beast Area”; we see a rhino nursing a young rhino and another rhino charges two men when they try to milk the rhino for a baby Panda. People drive through a wild animal sanctuary and we see lions, rhinos and giraffes moving near the road. Two men are locked in a containment area and we hear an announcement that they will undergo “intense disinfection”; we see them coming out of the area coughing and gasping later. Two unconscious men are bound and gagged and left in a control room.
► A young girl lies in a bed with medical monitors around her and oxygen at her nose; we are told that she is suffering from Leukemia and that her condition is worsening; her father stands in the room grieving. A man yells, jumps across a counter and grabs another man when he realizes that he is a celebrity. People make fun of the size of a man’s nose and apparent bowed legs. An animated sequence shows motorcycles speeding on wet roads and spinning around.
► A man says that the Queen’s Corgis have been stolen. A man yells when he sees a spider and two other people are startled. A baby Panda is described to be “throwing up and not eating anything.” A man yells a few times when sticky strips are pulled off his arms and back. We hear reports of a baby Panda with rare genetic expressions being born at a zoo and that a celebrity will be adopting it.
► A baby Panda defecates in a man’s hand and the man then smears the feces on another man’s face, gags and nearly vomits a few times (there is no vomit). A man is startled when a baby panda hugs his leg and coos; the man picks the animal up and it flatulates. A woman pleads with a baby Panda to drink milk from a bottle she is holding.
Panda Plan LANGUAGE 5
– At least1 F-word, 4 scatological terms, 4 anatomical terms, 5 mild obscenities, name-calling (noob, naughty, weird, mercenaries), exclamations (chill out), 4 religious profanities (GD), 2 religious exclamations (e.g. oh my God, Allah). | profanity glossary |
Panda Plan SUBSTANCE USE
– People drink bottles of beer. A man smokes while on a sea vessel.
Panda Plan DISCUSSION TOPICS
– Protecting wild animals, celebrity, terminal illness, Leukemia, grief, mercenaries.
Panda Plan MESSAGE
– Being a hero can mean many things.
CAVEATS
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
Mufasa: The Lion King - 1.4.2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - 1.3.3
The Piano Lesson - 3.5.4
Homestead - 1.5.4
how to
support us
PLEASE DONATE
We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
NO MORE ADS!
Become a member of our premium site for just $1/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we don't always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.
how to
support us
PLEASE DONATE
We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
NO MORE ADS!
Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.