Movie Ratings That Actually Work    Become a Member

"One of the 50 Coolest Websites...they simply tell it like it is" - TIME

NEW THIS WEEK

IN THEATERS

NEW ON VIDEO


advertisement


advertisement

Mortdecai | 2015 | R | - 6.6.5

An English noble and crooked art dealer (Johnny Depp) owes millions in back taxes. An MI5 agent (Ewan McGregor) makes a deal with him to track down stolen art in exchange for avoiding prison, but other people are after art pieces, which are rumored to contain the code to a secret bank account filled with Nazi gold. Also with Gwyneth Paltrow, Olivia Munn, Jeff Goldblum and Paul Bettany. Directed by David Koepp. [1:46]

SEX/NUDITY 6 - In a dimly lit college-dorm room a woman sits and bounces astride a man's groin area under a blanket as we see her bare back, shoulders and arms crossed over her chest (we see the man's bare chest, shoulders and arms) and we hear the couple laughing softly before another man walks into the room and leaves quickly as the woman gasps in surprise.
 A husband and his wife attempt to kiss several times in different scenes, but his mustache makes her gag and he gags in reflex (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details); in one scene, they kiss passionately and in a few seconds both gag loudly (no vomit) and in another scene the woman says that the mustache reminds her of a vagina. A woman kisses a man on one cheek. A woman kisses an elderly man on one cheek.
 A husband in a bubble bath reveals chest and the top of his abdomen while we see his wife's bare shoulders as she drops a dressing gown below the frame, as well as her bare back and the top of her buttocks as she enters the tub; she asks her husband if he "is ready," suggesting sex, but brings out a shaving brush to remove his mustache.
 In a telephone scene we hear women screaming in a hotel room next to a man's room and his wife asks, "Why are people climaxing in your vicinity?"; he replies that some women are very much attracted to his mustache and she hangs up as he calls through the hotel wall, "Put that thing away!" and he calls the other room and tells them to stop, but they scream louder (it's apparently one man with several women). A man exits an airplane washroom and a few seconds later a woman exits also while straightening her sweater and skirt and she walks to a seat and picks up her baby from her sitting husband's arms.
 A woman rides a black horse up to a man who is standing on the ground; the man says, "Lucky saddle" and her shirt is open to reveal part of her bra and significant cleavage while an older man tells the male visitor, "You might have time to couple with my daughter before dinner; she's been through half the staff already." A man says to another man after seeing two women wearing skimpy string bikinis in a hotel lobby, "I feel we have landed on the set of a pornographic movie"; the first man asks that of the desk clerk, who does not answer (we see significant cleavage, abdomens, and legs to beyond the top of the hip). A woman enters a living room and asks a man to come back to bed; he is eating and says, "In a minute"; she is wearing a tight corset-type top that reveals significant cleavage, bare shoulders and abdomen along with very tight panties that reveal bare legs to the top of the thighs. A woman wearing a low-cut towel-like dress lies on a shelf behind a hotel front desk and we see cleavage. A woman wearing jeans runs into an outdoor scene, buttoning a denim shirt and revealing the top and bottom of breasts and her abdomen. A man appears in a chair with his shirttails covering his groin area as his valet irons his trousers. Women wear low-cut dresses or partially open shirts in several scenes that reveal significant cleavage. Many women wear skirts with side slits and one woman sits and exposes one full leg to the top of the thigh, along with cleavage. A 1792 painting features a heavy woman wearing a flimsy gown with a square neckline that shows one of her nipples.
 A man hears that he owes millions of British pounds in taxes and says, "I did not know I was so deeply into the Queen's hole" as the camera cuts quickly to a close-up of a hand snapping into a pink latex glove in a pantry to select cheese. A man pinned to an elevator car wall by an overweight man asks the larger man to move his protuberance to one side (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details).
 A woman says that another woman is a well-known nymphomaniac. A man says that his valet indulges in frequent sexual intercourse. A man says, "Women have genital -- you know" (implying vaginas) and later says that he is a beast at sex. A husband asks his wife is she wants to have congress or to sink the Bismarck. An elderly man asks a younger woman twice to accompany him to the washroom to have a look at a painting, and he winks; in another scene she tells her husband about the situation and that the elderly man could have meant either a painting or his "John Thomas." A woman asks a man, "It's going to get bigger?"; he says yes and the woman has the valet take the husband's things to a separate bedroom. A man and a woman sit at a restaurant table and he mentions afternoon trysts in general; she asks, "Is this a tryst?" and he splutters, "No!" A man tells a woman's husband, "Don't worry about your wife; I'm keeping her filled in" and the husband splutters and walks away. A married woman apologizes to a man (not her husband) for "leading him on."
 A man grins and stares at a woman as if he is in love. We see that hotel rooms each have a mirror above the bed.
 A man at a urinal unzips his trousers below the frame; we hear the zip and a stream of urine, as the man groans in relief.


the review continues below...

VIOLENCE/GORE 6 - A woman painting a portrait stares ahead suddenly and falls face down into the painting; the painting slides out from under her and off screen as a large arrow protrudes from her back, without blood, and we hear the thwack of the arrow (later a man holds the bloody arrow up to the sunlight in a plastic evidence bag).
 A man sitting at a desk falls forward, his forehead thumping the desktop and a close-up shows blood dripping from one finger of one of his hands hanging by his side; a man enters and shoots, hitting the dead man in the shoulder and drawing blood.
 A man in a pheasant shooting party on a farm fires to the side accidentally and causes a man to be thrown off screen; the rifleman calls out, "Man down!" and walks away (we later hear that the shooter shot the man in the leg). A brief shootout in the back of an auction house shows a man shooting a second man in the upper chest and a third man in the leg; both victims fall, with a little blood at each wound.
 Several men tell a man to lower his trousers to receive electric shocks from sparking jumper cables; the man holds a tin ashtray in front of his groin covered by boxer shorts and he grabs another man and jumps through a window, landing on top of the other man and escaping in a motorcycle sidecar; he is chased by gunmen in a car and the cyclist escapes down an alley.
 Servers carry flaming drinks on trays in a restaurant; a man pushes a female server and three flaming drinks fall, igniting a tablecloth and three men who begin fist fighting and eventually run off screen (not seen again) while women run and scream and two gunshots shatter a glass back bar, shattering glass on the floor and spilling bottles of alcohol onto two men who have landed on the floor in sitting position after joining a fistfight and being punched (one man is shown later wearing bandages over the forehead and nose, and both men have bruised faces). Two criminals and three others scuffle, each threatening all the others with guns and knives, all yelping and shouting (there are no injuries evident and the criminals flee in a car). A man raises a meat cleaver to cut another man's hand off in a restaurant, but stabs the knife into a tabletop instead. A man slams a lobster cracker into a wooden serving piece with a loud crack. Two men with bruised faces attack another man, slamming him into a walk, using a headlock, and pressing hard on a bandaged hand that shows a spot of blood; the attacked man groans in pain and one of the other men reveals a large knife as he says that he will cut off a finger from the victim as a fourth man takes a giant mallet from a wall display and pounds both attackers with it, striking them unconscious (no injuries seen).
 At a mechanic's garage, gunshots fire into the repair bay form off screen, hitting a vehicle, killing the mechanic with a small amount of blood, and hitting a second car; a customer gets into his car, backs up and hits his valet, who becomes pinned to a wall and says he only has a cracked rib, but groans. A man receives an injection in the neck and is kidnapped from a washroom, but comes to unharmed in a mansion where a strong spotlight is on him and he is punched in the nose (he howls); the attacker licks a handkerchief, wipes blood away from the nose and then punches the nose again (we see more blood, especially when the victim is pinned against a second floor window facing the camera with a squished face. A man walks through a vine-covered archway at night, as another man on top of it slams a two-by four club into his head, causing unconsciousness (the felled man revives later without injury). A man at a restaurant table slaps another man next to him hard in the back of the head twice; we later see the struck man with a bandage on his nose and bruises on his face. A man slams another man's face into a tabletop three times, but no injury appears. An elderly overweight man smashes his bulk face to face against a younger man in a small elevator car, threatening the younger man about an art deal; the younger man escapes the elevator by running when the car stops. A woman sprays mace into the face of a man who poked her with the tip of a knife; he grimaces and groans in pain. A woman pushes a man off a chaise lounge in one scene and tells him to go away. A man slaps an older man on the thigh with a cane as a joke. An inept fencing duel occurs in an auction-house storage room; one man slices the other's sword in two after the second man shaves off half of the first man's mustache; crates and paintings fall loudly, and one man cuts the rope on a hanging crate that smashes around another man who landed on his feet after falling from a stairway (the crate was empty and there is no injury).
 Several scenes include arguments between crooked art dealers, an art dealer and a government agent, an art dealer and customers, and an art dealer and his wife.
 A man poisons buffet food (please see the Substance Use category for more details), causing two men to suffer projectile vomiting on the front lawn later (we see copious amounts of yellow-brown vomit). During a car chase of four people, in a car pursuing two men in another auto, a man in the first vehicle shoots a handgun and vomits out the window (we see vomit thrown onto the other vehicle windshield as the first auto passes) causing another man and a woman in the first auto to gag loudly (they do not vomit); their car hits a fruit stand without injuries, but the side of the car is covered in vomit and the vomiting man says that he swallowed some vomit. A man and a woman both gag loudly when they attempt to kiss (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details), because she hates his mustache and he gags in response to gagging in others. A man spits cheese off screen as he grimaces.
 A man dons gloves to select smelly cheeses that look like Stilton from a pantry and he grimaces; he serves a male quest who begins to eat the cheese several times, but puts it down, declaring that it is a biological warfare weapon.


the review continues below...

LANGUAGE 5 - About 5 F-words and its derivatives, 1 scatological term, 17 anatomical terms, 18 mild obscenities, exclamations (shut-up, dashed, dash it all), name-calling (hag, stupid, rude, wicked, vulgar, beastly, monkey, chicken, mother-loving, devils, old thing, madman, you nasty-business, snob, drunk, bedroom randy pair), stereotypical references to men, women, the British, the Welsh, Americans, the Chinese, Russians, Italians, Nazis, art thieves, crooked art dealers, art forgers, international criminals, government agents, the rich, spendthrifts, 8 religious exclamations (e.g. Good Lord, Oh God, Good Heavens, Thank Heavens, Good God, Jesus Christ, For Heaven's Sake).


the review continues below...

SUBSTANCE USE - A criminal poisons several trays of food on a buffet with a clear liquid in a vial (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details), and a man receives an injection in the neck and we see the plunger end of the syringe as he falls unconscious. Several parties feature wine in glasses on tables beside wine bottles with men and women drinking, men and women are seen drinking tall cocktails and other alcoholic beverages at parties, two scenes feature female wait staff carrying flaming martinis on trays, a man drinks a short glass of whiskey at home or in a hotel room in three scenes, a man pours and drinks wine from a decanter sitting among various bottles of hard liquor on a serving cart or a sideboard in a couple of scenes, several rooms in mansions and offices feature side tables holding about half a dozen bottles and decanters, a man carries a bottle of white wine but does not open it, a man drinks a mint julep outside at a mansion, and a man carries another man off an airplane and sits him in a wheelchair where he mumbles and people call him drunk (his drinking on the plane is implied). A man smokes a cigarette in an elevator.


the review continues below...

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Stolen art treasures, business ethics, money, power, spendthrifts, international crime, honesty, relationships, adultery, debt, taxes.

MESSAGE - A lavish lifestyle can be dangerous.

CAVEATS

Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.

We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.

Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.


advertisement


advertisement

NEW THIS WEEK

IN THEATERS

NEW ON VIDEO

how to
support us

PLEASE DONATE

We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.

NO MORE ADS!

Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we don't always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.

how to
support us

PLEASE DONATE

We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.

NO MORE ADS!

Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.

Join Our Weekly Updates

Join Our Weekly Updates

Receive the latest information on new reviews

We won't sell or share your email address with anyone

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This