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Love, Guaranteed | 2020 | TV-PG | – 1.2.3

content-ratingsWhy is “Love, Guaranteed” rated TV-PG? The TV Parental Guidelines Monitoring Board rating indicates that “this program contains material that parents may find unsuitable for younger children.” The Kids-In-Mind.com evaluation includes a couple of kissing and hugging scenes, discussions of dating and love, cleavage revealing outfits, several arguments, discussions of lawsuits and career ending injuries, and some mild language. Read our parents’ guide below for details on sexual content, violence & strong language.


The unhappy member (Damon Wayans, Jr.) of a dating service app decides to sue the company with the help of a struggling lawyer (Rachael Leigh Cook). During the process, as he gets to know his lawyer better, he discovers that he no longer needs the dating service. Also with Caitlin Howden, Jed Rees, Lisa Durupt, Sean Amsing, Brendan Taylor, Alvin Sanders, Kandyse McClure and Heather Graham. Directed by Mark Steven Johnson. A phrase is spoken in Tibetan and is partially translated. [Running Time: 1:30]

Love, Guaranteed SEX/NUDITY 1

 – A woman is nude in a cell phone photo with a wide swath of cloth covering her breasts and groin area (we see cleavage, bare shoulders and legs to the upper thighs). A woman wears a deeply cut blouse that reveals cleavage in a couple of scenes. A woman wears a mid-thigh length miniskirt with tights. A woman wears a clinging dress. A poster in an office shows a man and a woman in an embrace, and another poster shows a woman riding on a man’s back.
 A man in a courtroom says to a woman, “I love you. Do you love me too?” She answers “I do” and the spectators cheer and they kiss for several seconds. A man and a woman hold hands briefly in a couple of scenes. A man and a woman hug briefly. A man and a woman hug for several seconds and he kisses her forehead.
 A man says that his fiancée moved out of their apartment because she was seeing another man. A woman says that her boyfriend did not want to get married, so they broke up. A man says that he has had 1,000 dates with a dating service and did not enjoy any of them. A woman tells another woman that a man is “hot,” and another man says, “I know I’m married, but I’d love to see him in my chambers.” A man asks if an unseen flannel-clad man in an online photo is a “lumber-sexual.”
 A woman says that she is pregnant and her abdomen bulges under a long sweater.


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Love, Guaranteed VIOLENCE/GORE 2

 – A four-year-old boy yells for about two minutes, jumping up and down on a coffee table and a bed, slamming toys onto the floor and kicking things around the room; the child becomes quiet after a man gives him ice cream and the man says, “Next time I’m bringing holy water.”
 We hear a scream off-screen and a couple rushes into the house next door, where a woman says her water broke; she says that her husband screamed, and he rushes into the room, jabbering and fumbling with keys and a bag. A woman slaps a man on the arm twice.
 A woman sobs in one scene and cries loudly in her car in another scene. A man who is weakened by fasting sleeps and snores in a restaurant and a courtroom. A man snores at his office desk and a woman next to him throws a small office object at him, it hits him, and he awakens and throws a paper wad at her. A woman lights a prayer candle and a man and woman fold their hands and pray for the “Seahawks” to win.
 A man threatens a woman over the phone, saying he will ruin her career because she joined a dating website, unless she drops a lawsuit against the website. A man and a woman argue briefly a few times. A man and a woman argue with a woman and eight men in one scene. A man says that a woman he knew punched a busboy and that a woman used to eat toilet paper and other paper and cardboard. A man says he quit playing baseball when he tore an ACL. A woman says she has many allergies. A man says he needs to use the restroom, but never goes.
 A man wears a wide cervical neck collar in a courtroom and we later see him having physical therapy for walking; we also see another man on crutches, who is missing a leg, with his empty trouser leg pinned up at the hip. We hear a flush in a restroom and see a clothed woman exit a stall and wash her hands.


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Love, Guaranteed LANGUAGE 3

 – 2 scatological terms, 1 anatomical term, 1 mild obscenity, name-calling (crusader, gross, creepy, obnoxious, do-gooder, cheesy swindler, bus bench lawyer, ambulance chaser, loophole shark, fake, phony, trash, nasty, man-eater, weird, comedian), exclamations (gross, hogwash, wow, whoo, whoo-hoo, whoa, yay, ooh, shut-up), 4 religious exclamations (e.g. O-M-G, Oh God, Holy [scatological term deleted], you’re doing the Lord’s work). | profanity glossary |


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Love, Guaranteed SUBSTANCE USE

 – A woman says that she has an EpiPen but does not have it with her, and a man says that he giggles “after taking a second Ambien” (we do not see any drugs). A woman sips a glass of wine at home, two men sit at a counter with glasses of beer (one of the men sips his beer) and a third glass of beer is shown at edge of the frame beside a man’s elbow, a man in a restaurant orders a bottle of wine that we see later on the table and he sips some from a glass, a woman pours two glasses of wine in a home (no one drinks), a man who has been fasting holds a short glass of whiskey in a restaurant and stumbles and falls (a woman catches him), a woman says that another woman smells like wine (we see no drinking), a woman says that a giggling woman gives off no smell of vodka and we see no drinking, a man says that someone “looks like they could use a cocktail” but we see no alcohol, and a woman in a photo holds a huge margarita and when she later looks at the photo she says that she “was wasted.”


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Love, Guaranteed DISCUSSION TOPICS

 – Unrealistic promises made by businesses, dating apps, disappointments, heartbreak, lawsuits, justice, loneliness, anger, helping others, relationships, honesty, communication, family, friendship.

Love, Guaranteed MESSAGE

 – There are no guarantees in love, but it is worth the risk of possible heartbreak.

CAVEATS

Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.

We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.

Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.


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support us

PLEASE DONATE

We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.

NO MORE ADS!

Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.

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