"One of the 50 Coolest Websites...they simply tell it like it is" - TIME
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever | 2024 | PG | – 1.3.2
Why is “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” rated PG? The MPAA rating has been assigned for “thematic material and brief underage smoking.” The Kids-In-Mind.com evaluation includes a kiss, several scenes of children stealing, causing property damage and threatening other children, people arguing and being judgmental of others, children smoking a cigar, and some name-calling and exclamations. Read our parents’ guide below for details on sexual content, violence & strong language.
When a woman (Judy Greer) volunteers to direct a Christmas pageant, she is bound and determined to make it the “Best Ever,” despite the participation of a group of unruly children that seems to want to destroy her efforts. Also with Kynlee Heiman, Sebastian Billingsley-Rodriguez, Pete Holmes and Stanlee Arches. Directed by Dallas Jenkins. [Running Time: 1:39]
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever SEX/NUDITY 1
– A husband and his wife kiss.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever VIOLENCE/GORE 3
– A woman charges into a room saying that she smells smoke and pulls the fire alarm; people rush out of the building and adults clamor about who was responsible, blaming a girl for smoking in the bathroom. A woman says that she took a spill as we see her being wheeled on a stretcher out of her house and we hear that she broke both of her legs.
► Several children arm themselves with snowballs and pelt several other children knocking them down on the ground; we see them later with reddened faces. A girl threatens to push a part of a plant deep into another girl’s ear if she doesn’t relinquish her part in a church pageant; we see another child being examined by a nurse and the nurse screams when she sees something in his ear. A young girl hits a boy in the head with a book.
► A boy drags his hand across his throat as a threat toward another boy. Children in a room are frightened when other children enter the room and sit next to them. A girl removes money from a church collection tin. We hear that children have lied and stolen and see them stealing from a shop and lying about breaking a man’s window. A shed is seen in flames as a group of children watches from nearby and we understand that they are responsible for the blaze. Children are described as having hit little kids and one child hits another pushing him down a snowy hill. Several children play swordfight with wooden sticks and use garbage can lids as shields.
► A boy tells another boy that he’ll melt if he ever shows up in a church. A man says that he is surprised several children didn’t burst into flames when they entered a church. Children are described as having “hijacked the whole pageant.” Adults complain about several children participating in a church pageant and that they don’t even go to the church. When told that an infant was placed in a feeding trough in a barn after being born a girl asks, “Where was child welfare?” A young girl picks up a shepherd’s crook and raises it over her head threatening to hit someone and other children scatter. Several children scuffle briefly. A boy says, “They tried to kill me again.” A girl says to her siblings, “I will invent a torture just for you.” A librarian is nervous when several children stand at the information desk and she says, “I don’t keep any money in here.” A woman asks a girl who pierced her ears and she points to her younger sister. People talk about several children having kidnapped and tied up their parents and that they haven’t been seen in a long time. When asked if her mother is home, a child replies, “Not when the sun is up.” A girl describes having had head lice when she was at camp once. People talk about change being bad.
► A girl storms out of a room saying that she is going to the john. A child brings a cat into school for show-and-tell and it leaps out of a box and tears through the room causing children to run and scream; we see that the cat has eaten another child’s goldfish from its bowl. A boy’s lunchbox is routed several times by other children and his candy and dessert are stolen after threatening him and twisting his arm. A girl pulls a necklace off another girl’s neck and won’t return it to her. A girl sniffs another girl’s hand and says it smells like soap because she has “cooties.” A girl purposely bumps into another girl in a hallway. A boy describes other children stealing his lunch and punching him for not having candy. A child says prayers at bedtime asking God to send other children far away or make her invisible until she goes to college. A man says, “You can’t add a single hour to your life by being anxious about things.” A man cuts down a Christmas tree and it tips over onto his car; he slips on snow and ice trying to put it on the roof of the car.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever LANGUAGE 2
– 2 mild obscenities, name-calling (worst kids in the history of the world, idiots, cooties, wall flower, jerks, dirty, all around awful, silly, selfish, all wrong, train wreck, nothing but trouble, disaster, they look like refugees, dummy, pathetic, smart alec, judgie, stupid, dumbbell), exclamations (oh boy, uh-oh, shut-up, shazam, good grief, you can stuff it, oh my, calm down lady, get off, ick), 18 religious exclamations (e.g. oh my God, my God, God, Jesus, Lord have mercy on us all, Jesus money, for Heaven’s sake, a young girl says prayers at bedtime). | profanity glossary |
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever SUBSTANCE USE
– A young girl holds a chalice and her lips are stained red presumably from drinking the sacramental wine. Several children share a cigar.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever DISCUSSION TOPICS
– Small towns, the Christmas story, being judgmental, community, tradition, hope, taxation, colic, change, making assumptions about people, truth, doing the right thing.
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever MESSAGE
– The meaning of the Christmas story is very important and must be appreciated.
CAVEATS
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
Gladiator II - 2.7.2
Wicked: Part I - 3.4.2
Bonhoeffer: Pastor. Spy. Assassin. - 1.5.3
Emilia Pérez - 6.6.7
how to
support us
PLEASE DONATE
We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
NO MORE ADS!
Become a member of our premium site for just $1/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we don't always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.
how to
support us
PLEASE DONATE
We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
NO MORE ADS!
Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.
