"One of the 50 Coolest Websites...they simply tell it like it is" - TIME
Haunted Mansion | 2023 | PG-13 | – 1.4.3
When a woman (Rosario Dawson) takes her young son (Chase Dillon) to an isolated and abandoned mansion, she doesn’t realize that they will not be the only occupants. Her solution is to put together a team of supernatural sleuths (LaKeith Stanfield, Owen Wilson, Tiffany Haddish, Danny DeVito and Jamie Lee Curtis) to figure out how to deal with the resident spirits sharing their home. Also with Jared Leto, J.R. Adduci, Creek Wilson, Ben Bladon, Lindsay Lamb and Charity Jordan. Directed by Justin Simien. [Running Time: 2:02]
Haunted Mansion SEX/NUDITY 1
– A man and woman hug and dance in a couple of flashbacks. A man and woman hug.
► A woman wears low-cut tops that reveal cleavage in a few scenes. A woman tells a man, “You’re not wearing any pants,” and we see him wearing boxer shorts and a man wears a tank T-shirt and boxer briefs in one scene (we see bare shoulders and legs to the upper thighs). We see drawings of women wearing low-cut dresses (cleavage is visible) and dancing with men.
Haunted Mansion VIOLENCE/GORE 4
– A man steps in quicksand, alligators swim around the area and the man and a young boy cling onto gargoyles attached to the walls; they climb up the wall while chased by snapping alligators until they reach the roof. A man sees a reflection in a mirror that looks like him, but without his head; when he wipes away dust covering the mirror we see him in his normal state and a ghost in the room throws an axe at him breaking the mirror, he falls down a ladder and crashes onto the floor below followed by a trunk and an ax landing between his legs as he looks alarmed. People gather in a cemetery with many ghosts swirling around them; one large ghost calls for a soul to join him and tries to convince a young boy, a man steps toward the ghost and a grave opens in the ground; the ghost is wrapped with glowing strands that pull him into the hole and the man kicks him in the head (we see him disappear into the hole).
► A ghost swings an ax toward a man as he runs away. A hand grabs a woman by the throat; she falls to the floor and coughs. A ghost pushes its way into a man’s head and we see the man’s features stretching unnaturally. A man falls to the floor holding his chest and gasping as a ghost moves toward him (it is implied that he is having a heart attack). Three people open a hatch in a fireplace and a young boy climbs through it and finds many grave markers, as well as a top hat resting on an emaciated skull; a giant spider crawls out from under the hat. A man’s nose bleeds and he begins to speak in a deep and threatening voice; he moves toward another man trying to take a hat away from him, his face becomes veiny and gray and the two men fight briefly before one man throws the hat into a fireplace (we see it catch fire). A ghost appears and levitates while threatening a man and many ghosts move around him. A young boy follows what he thinks is the voice of his deceased father that tries to convince him to come with him; another man runs after him and a flight of stairs breaks under him, as he convinces the boy to come away with him.
► A young boy is chased by other boys and we understand that he is being bullied. A young boy opens the door to a room and we see it covered with cobwebs, he hangs a drape over a portrait of a woman with a veil and when the drape falls away, we see the ghost of a woman in a decayed state swooping around the room and the boy screams and runs away.
► Watery footprints are shown moving toward a boat, and the boat then speeds away throwing someone that was onboard into the water. A suit of armor appears behind a young boy and he and a woman run out of the house and speed away in a car; we see a couple of ghosts in the backseat of the car (one looks like a decaying skeleton). A young boy goes to the front door of a mansion and the door opens on its own, the boy enters, hears strange sounds, sees the hallway stretch unnaturally and we see the reflection of a person in a mirror hanging on a wall (the boy is frightened). A car drives along a driveway where a sign on the gate reads, “Do Not Enter.” A woman leads a man on a tour of her home and she and her young son are scared several times, relating events that they have encountered; they tell the man not to use a flash on his camera and say, “They don’t like it”; they are afraid to walk through a part of a hallway and the woman says that she gets sharp pains on both sides whenever she passes a certain spot (we later see two ghosts shooting each other in that spot). A man drives away in his car and we see a ghost in the backseat. A woman walks through a hallway and it stretches far in the distance, portraits on the walls move, and a candelabra floats in the distance. A woman is pushed into a chair and pushed through a hallway and out of a house as she screams; she is thrown out of the chair and falls in a puddle of mud. A man is pushed into a chair and out of a house. Something large moves through water and we hear a rumble as it moves. Ghosts are shown floating and moving around a cemetery including the ghost of a dog (we see it partially emaciated with rib bones exposed). Three people search for someone in a house and one man climbs a ladder into an attic where a large trunk clambers on the floor; we see a large crystal ball wrapped in a cloth inside it. A crystal ball contains a woman’s head and she speaks. Vines become animated and chase a car as it speeds away; trees along the road grow faces and throw large limbs at the car as it swerves on the road.
► A man goes to a house, a giant wave crashes into him and washes him into a street with fish flopping around him and a car almost hits him. A man takes a flash photo and is thrown by a bright light that glitters in the camera lens; he falls on her floor and hits his head (we do not see an injury). A man changes the channel on his TV and it changes back to another channel repeatedly; the remote eventually is thrown out of the man’s hand and across the room. A man lies on his bed and water drips from the ceiling onto his forehead; he gets out of bed, opens a door and we see a raging sea splashing water on him and he is thrown back on his bed by a wave followed by a part of a ship that pierces his headboard. A man enters another man’s apartment and the second man grabs a bottle and moves toward him threateningly; they argue briefly. Pieces of paper land on a griddle and catch fire. A man’s camera is thrown to the floor and breaks.
► A woman recites a spell or says that she will enter the ghost realm. A man yells at people asking him about ghosts and haunted places and says, “There are no such things as ghosts; life is dirt, we are all dirt.” A voiceover remarks about foolish mortals and death. A man tells another man, “You smell like yesterday.” A man talks about a woman going for ice cream and that she was killed in a car accident; he grieves for her especially because she died alone. We hear that a man kicked his young son out of the house when he cried too much at his mother’s funeral. A man talks about being professionally ridiculed. A man wears a shirt with a clerical collar and we understand later that it is a costume. A remark is made about someone “missing half her face.” A man complains of back pain and blames it on “all the feet I cleaned in Calcutta.” A man says that he is having heart surgery. People talk about processing grief. A remark is made about someone losing his mind and killing himself. People talk about a deceased woman being at peace. A woman talks about her husband dying and her young son living without his father. People discuss what they call “ghost wings” when something memorable occurs to remind us of a loved one. People discuss that there is an evil spirit feeding on a man’s grief. People discuss performing a reverse séance. A woman says that a dog was hit by a car and it “…busted like a water balloon.” People discuss an evil spirit seeking one more soul to add to his collection of 999. A person says, “Life has no meaning.” A man worries about having to perform an exorcism.
► A man tries to walk through a mirror and bounces off hitting his head (no injuries are seen). A man in a restaurant is thrown pieces of food by a chef at a cooktop table and the man catches the pieces in his mouth and eats them. A woman snores loudly and a man also snores. A woman tries to prepare food and we see something influencing what she is doing by breaking eggshells into a pan and pouring a lot of seasoning into the mix as well; she later serves scrambled eggs containing shells.
Haunted Mansion LANGUAGE 3
– 2 scatological terms, 1 anatomical term, name-calling (monster, Dr. Frankenstein, weird, unforgivable, deeply wrong, reckless, ridiculous, hatbox ghost, son of a gun, morons, ignorant, so petty, bad man, bone orchard, goner, terrible, awful, she is the devil), exclamations (wow, oh my gosh, calm down), 10 religious exclamations (e.g. oh my God, oh God, a phrase including the words “the Lord” is shown on the back window of a car, the Lord moves in mysterious ways). | profanity glossary |
Haunted Mansion SUBSTANCE USE
– People drink in a bar scene, a man drinks heavily in a bar scene, a man pours two drinks and puts poison in them, and a man says that he’s going to need a drink (we do not see him have a drink).
Haunted Mansion DISCUSSION TOPICS
– The supernatural, ghosts, dark matter, quantum mechanics, astrophysics, grief, misery, exorcism, the power of suggestion, death of loved ones, opportunity, fraud, death of a parent, bullying, paranormal activity, existential threat.
Haunted Mansion MESSAGE
– Grief can keep you from living. Working with others toward a common goal can help you cope with grief and pain.
CAVEATS
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
Mufasa: The Lion King - 1.4.2
Sonic the Hedgehog 3 - 1.3.3
The Piano Lesson - 3.5.4
Homestead - 1.5.4
how to
support us
PLEASE DONATE
We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
NO MORE ADS!
Become a member of our premium site for just $1/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we don't always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.
how to
support us
PLEASE DONATE
We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.
NO MORE ADS!
Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.