The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard | 2009 | R | - 8.4.10
When a failing car dealership looks for help to save it from closing, a maverick used car salesmen (Jeremy Piven) rolls into town and turns their Fourth of July sale into a spectacular event. Also with Ving Rhames, Kathryn Hahn, David Koechner, James Brolin, Ed Helms, Jordana Spiro, Alan Thicke and Will Ferrell. Directed by Neal Brennan. [1:30]
► The titles of three "Adult" themed movies are shown on a TV set: one is selected and a woman, fully nude, is shown in the shower (her bare buttocks and breasts are shown and she looks seductively at the camera while running her hand over her head); a man's voice is heard saying that since he had paid for the adult film that he felt obligated to masturbate, and a woman's voice is heard, saying that she wants to remain anonymous and does not want to make eye contact as she watches the adult movie.
► Three men and one woman are shown eating breakfast in a strip club, while women dance; one dancer takes off her bikini top (leaving the bikini bottom on) and throws it on the breakfast plate of a man, her breasts are exposed, and she dances suggestively. The back of a woman in the background of a strip club scene is shown dancing (she's nude from the waist up) and a woman's bare breasts, slightly blurred, are shown in the background of a strip club scene. Three scantily clad women approach a man and he comments that they must be the women he had hired from the strip club to work for him: All three women are wearing short skirts, one of them has on a bikini top (cleavage and mid-drift are shown), and another is wearing a low-cut shirt revealing her cleavage. Three women are shown in very revealing outfits, specifically using their sexuality to help sell cars. Women are shown wearing very tight clothing, low-cut blouses and suit jackets exposing cleavage.
► Three men and a woman are shown in a strip club: A woman, dressed in a sheer black dress (her underpants are visible through the fabric) lap dances and puts her legs over a man's shoulders, thrusts her hips into his face, her buttocks bump against his chin, and then moves again to lay across the man's lap; another woman, wearing a very skimpy outfit (with cleavage exposed), dances with another man, she shifts to have her legs draped over the man's shoulders, thrusts her hips towards the man's face, her buttocks bump against the man's face, and she then moves and has her leg bent over to enable her to mimic oral sex on the heel of her shoe, while the man states that the action was both disgusting and exciting since he has an erection.
► A profile of a man is shown, fully clothed, with what appears to be an erection under his pants. A woman is shown wearing only a man's shirt.
► A man and woman embrace in a passionate kiss after the man comments that a woman was "his woman" despite her insisting that their previous night of intercourse was merely a one-night stand. A man is shown kissing a woman on the neck, lips, and face (she is wearing a low-cut blouse and her cleavage is visible). A man licks a woman's face in a sexual manner. A man rips open the shirt of a woman, exposing her bra and cleavage; he then places his face between her breasts.
► During a choreographed dance, three men thrust their hips in a suggestive fashion, one falls to the ground and mimics thrusting against the floor in a sexual manner; the three men then grab their crotches while dancing, all while singing a song with the lyrics, "...doing it," implying intercourse. A woman places her hand on a man's leg to reassure him.
► A man describes how he was going to run away with a woman and she had instructed him to bring a bag full of sexual implements but he accidentally switched the bag with a parachute that another man attempted to use -- a man is shown flying through the air, surrounded by sexual implements, shouting their names, and then grabs one and states that he is going to be using it to help cushion the impact of his fall. Sexual implements are shown falling from the sky, hitting the hoods of cars and bouncing to the ground.
► A man asks a woman who she just had intercourse with, if she was going to call off her engagement and she states that she was simply interested in having a one-night stand before getting married and that they had simply "had sex" and it was meaningless. A woman, wearing a tight skirt and low-cut top, leans over the hood of a car to face a man and states that she will not "use sex" to sell a car, but begins to use a seductive voice to tell the man that she is sexually excited by women, and begins to detail a sexual fantasy involving herself and two other women; the man excitedly adds things for the woman to say, and she continues to graphically describe her sexual fantasy, adding that the man would join in, only if he had the car the woman was attempting to sell him. A man tells another man not to worry, as his privates "are just fine," while attempting to flirt with the unwilling man. A man, during a pep talk, mentions how he enjoys his genitals being touched. A man opens a bag of stolen money, a blue ink pellet explodes shooting ink all over his face into his eyes, and then makes a crude joke about the explosion being like a cartoon creature had ejaculated on his face.
► A woman makes an inappropriate comment about sex to a 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man, saying that they would "wrestle"; the woman uses descriptions of how he would treat a baseball glove in a sexual manner and she then attempts to ply the boy with alcohol and tells him to meet her behind a dumpster. To get the attention of a 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man, a woman mimics intercourse by pantomiming with her finger and a napkin roll. A woman makes a pass at a 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man. A 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man playfully pinches a woman, and she says, "I love you." We hear that a woman is going to become a nurse at an all-boy school where a 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man will be attending. A woman places her hand over the hand of a man and then confesses to being sexually attracted to a 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man. While in a strip club, with a woman wearing a bra and short shorts dancing on a stage above them, a man tells a woman that he has never "made love," although he had sexual intercourse with "hundreds, maybe thousands" of women; he then details the sexual acts and his preferences. A man discusses how he was supposed to meet a married woman in the backseat of a car to "hook up." A man tells a woman that he is intending to make love to a woman. A man suggests to a group of people sitting around a table that they wear tight underpants for the next day, since he was planning on causing people to have erections. A man says he wore tight underpants because he was told to wear tight underpants to prevent erections. A man comments that a woman's sex appeal was helpful in making the car dealership make multiple sales. A woman off-handedly mentions a "lap dance" while talking to a man. A man asks another man if he is not satisfied by his fiancée; the man says he is, however he is more motivated by the success of his band. A DJ says to his audience that he hopes that the music causes people to make love, detailing that they "get it" through the sheets, and make music of their own,
► A man discusses with another man that he had a "wild night" with a beauty queen; the man later says that he had not used protection and is afraid that he might have impregnated the woman. A woman, in reference to a 10-year-old boy who has the body of a grown man, says that she would have intercourse with him, despite his age, and a man tells her that she is "sick." As part of a bet, a man offers another man "one night" with another man. A man, while talking to another man, says that having relations with his wife is no longer interesting, and instead he now chooses to go "cruising" (implying gay sex); he then flirts with the man he is talking to, saying he would be interested in cruising with him. A man comments that he would not be able to "have" another man for one night. In a group of people, a woman says that if a particular deal goes through, she will perform oral sex on herself. A man says that something is so rare that it is similar to witnessing an animal performing oral sex on a different species, or watching a whale give birth. A man asks a woman out for a date after admitting to the woman that he has never experienced tenderness; the woman agrees. A man tells a woman that she is "blazing hot." A man jokes that he had to take his pants off in order to get onto a plane and a woman says that she had been required to breast feed an elderly man before boarding a plane. A man states that he enjoys eating breakfast at strip clubs because it reminds him of his mother, who used to cook bacon in the nude. A woman says, "Yes, the rug matches the drapes." A man tells a group of people that he has hair on his genitals. A man states that a strip club's kitchen is closing because they are renting it out to be a set for a pornographic movie. A woman mistakes the name of a band to be sexual slang. In order to motivate a man, a man tells another man that his name was a euphemism for an erection. While in a strip club, a man states that he needs to hire three of the women to work for him as models at a car show. During a family dinner, a woman asks if another woman, who had been discussing business, had instead been talking about the female anatomy. A song contains a crude term for a female body part. A man tells a woman, "Nice balloons." A man says that another man was like the rash between his leg and genitals. A woman tells a group of people, "Suck it" after winning a contest. Text on the screen details marrying, divorcing and dating. A man informs another man that he will die by choking on a sausage patty while in a strip club.
► A man kisses two women on the cheek. A man kisses a woman on the cheek. A man kisses a woman's hand. A young girl kisses a boy on the head, and he kisses her on the hand. A young girl and a young boy kiss the opposite cheeks of a baby doll. People hug.
► A man dives from a plane with an instructor strapped to his back -- in a non-sexual manner.
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► A crowd of angry people rush a stage where a man was performing, throwing flaming tires and trash at the man, while shouting and pulling themselves onto the stage; a riot breaks out, and people all over a parking lot begin to punch, tackle, and shout at one another, an alligator is shown crawling across the pavement, a man puts another man into a headlock, a man uses an electric saw to cut into the wooden leg of a man wearing stilts causing the man to fall, and a man lifts up another man, spins him around and tosses him through a window causing glass to fly and cover the ground (there are no visible injuries).
► A man opens a bag of stolen money, a blue ink pellet explodes shooting ink all over his face into his eyes, he screams in pain upset that his LASIK surgery might be ruined, and then makes a crude joke about the explosion being like a cartoon creature had ejaculated on his face; he runs off clawing at his face.
► A woman screams at a female bartender, threatening that she will mutilate the woman's body. An older man angrily shouts at a man and a woman, while wildly waving at them to leave. An older man shouts at two people to leave and attempts to chase them off a parking lot. A man violently shouts at a group of people. A man angrily shouts at a woman. A group of men are shown jumping in the air and shouting at one another. A man shouts at a woman and angrily storms out of the room. A person established as a 10-year-old boy with the body of a grown man is accused of being drunk when he acts in a rambunctious fashion; the boy shouts, "Amber Alert!" when a man calls him a derogatory term.
► In response to a homosexual advance, a man threatens to beat up another man. A man states to a man of foreign decent, "In your country we would cut your hands off because you're stealing from us!" Over the phone, a man uses a creepy and intimidating voice to tell a woman that he was interested in taking a woman for a drive around the reservoir, implying that he was interested in murdering her; the woman, visibly shaken, is reassured by another man that the place where she had found the phone number was "like MySpace for serial killers."
► A man comments that another person has "retard strength." A man makes a joke about slavery. A man says he dislikes two different racial groups and a religious group. A comment is made that a man is only dating a woman because he does not realize she is not white.
► A man tells a woman that a man had died from selling cars, and then details that the man had died during a skydiving accident. A man tells a group of people about an injury a soldier had suffered, causing him to get gangrene and have his foot sawed off without anesthetic. A man says that after he fell out of an airplane his anus had been displaced and "went through his face"; two people agree that it had happened, repeating the crude term he used to describe the fatal injury. A woman tells a group of people that her significant other had been shot after being unable to pay a gambling debt; she goes on to describe that one of the two bullets that had killed him was meant to kill her. A man announces over an intercom that if people had come to the location for a specific woman, that she had died. A man lies about having testicular cancer during a television commercial, in order to sell cars; his family sees the commercial and is visibly upset. A man jokes about another man being homeless and then sleeping in his car. A man comments that it is a good thing that a crowd had erupted into "punching and burning things." A man jokes that, "Like John Wilkes Booth, our prices will blow your brains out." Text on the screen details that a man had been arrested for assault and was sentenced to jail time.
► A man shreds the family photos of a man's children after calling them pathetic and fat, but he does not shred the photo of the man's wife, saying that a picture of a fat and mean wife makes people feel sorry.
► A large crowd is shown shaking fences, attempting to break through a barrier, and as the gates open, people come pouring through, running and shouting. A woman walks past a sunglass display and steals a pair of sunglasses, handing them to a man behind her, and she then grabs a bottle of alcohol and puts it in her purse while a man steals a pillow.
► A man weeps openly in front of a group of people after he realizes he might lose his job. A man angrily throws his coffee on the ground and kicks the dirt with frustration. A man throws his hands in the air in obvious frustration. A man shoos and pushes a pigeon off the top of a car. A man snaps his fingers in order to prompt a woman to leave faster.
► A man is shown throwing up, the sound of his vomit is heard hitting the concrete and you can see it fly out of his mouth and onto the ground. A woman tells a group of people that the one thing people do not think about when they think about death is that people defecate after they pass away.
► A woman punches a man in the arm, playfully. A woman punches a man in the arm, and then playfully shoves him.
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We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.