Desperados | 2020 | TV-MA | – 6.3.9

Why is “Desperados” rated TV-MA? The TV Parental Guidelines Monitoring Board rating indicates, “This program is specifically designed to be viewed by adults and therefore may be unsuitable for children under 17.” The Kids-In-Mind.com evaluation includes seeing a dolphin penis slapping a woman, a couple of sex scenes between a man and a woman, two women and a woman and a dolphin, a couple of kissing and flirting scenes, and awkward misunderstood encounters between a boy and a woman, and several scenes of women wearing cleavage revealing outfits; a couple of car accidents, many arguments, a punch in the face, a couple of falls from a tall fence and a woman sent to jail and released, and over 40 F-words and other strong language. Read our parents’ guide below for details on sexual content, violence & strong language.

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A self-absorbed woman (Nasim Pedrad) antagonizes her friends (Anna Camp, Sarah Burns), but they still help her write a scathing email to a new boyfriend. Then they accompany her to Mexico to break into his hotel room and erase the message before he sees it, but nothing goes as planned. Also with Lamorne Norris, Robbie Amell and Heather Graham. Directed by LP. Several lines of dialogue are spoken in Spanish with English subtitles. [Running Time: 1:45]

Desperados SEX/NUDITY 6

 – A woman sits on a dock, a dolphin jumps toward her and thrusts into her groin area several times; the dolphin jumps down and returns to slap her in the face with its large red penis, as a man laughs and another woman says she now smells funny (from dolphin semen).
► A man and a woman stand in a bedroom and kiss passionately for several seconds, he lies on top of her on a bed and the camera cuts to the man and the woman (their bodies are covered with a blanket from mid-back down and we see his bare back and shoulders) as he thrusts several times and we see her face and shoulders as the scene ends. A woman places her hand over the heart of another woman, they kiss passionately, lie down clothed below the frame, and we see one woman’s face as she moans and cries out several times; a hand reaches up and rubs her breast over the clothing (the other woman’s head is not seen, implying oral sex).
► A woman wears a long towel, exposing a small amount of cleavage and she enters a hotel room where a preteen boy joins her and flirts with her; the towel drops and we see the woman’s bare upper back and shoulders as the boy picks up the towel and hands it to her, touching her collarbone, as the boy’s mother enters and shouts at the other woman, who runs outside and we see her later from the waist up, first with her chest covered with her arms and hands, and then wrapped in a chaise lounge cushion that shows her bare shoulder blades. A woman drops a brightly colored sex aid in a hotel lobby where a preteen boy picks it up and it vibrates; his mother shouts at the owner and at the hotel manager, accusing the other woman of being a pedophile. A woman shouts at another woman to stay away from her and her son and she punches the woman in the nose (we do not see blood).
► A high school guidance counselor tells the principal (she’s a nun) that the female students should be taught in school to masturbate with a shower nozzle, an owl figurine, and a teddy bear because “kids are gonna have sex” and remarks about liking to masturbate herself. Two men in a café make sexual remarks to two women, who say they are not interested; the men say they will go and masturbate and they then leave. A woman sends an email that contains four dozen eggplants as a reference to “penis.” A high school girl cries because she sent a topless picture of herself to her boyfriend, who sent it on to a sports team in the school.
► A man and a woman kiss for several seconds on a sidewalk and another woman walks past, saying her dates always kiss another woman.
► We see a pack of birth control pills a few times, each time with one fewer pill in it. We see an advertising flyer for human egg freezing. A woman says she wants to get pregnant, but it seems she cannot. We see a woman who is pregnant with her large abdomen under a loose dress.
► We see a few shirtless men wearing shorts on a beach, along with men and women wearing tight wetsuits. Several women on a beach wear bikinis and mid-thigh shorts that reveal bare shoulders, backs, arms, cleavage and legs up to mid-thigh. A woman in a club wears a V-neckline that reveals cleavage and men and women dance, writhing a bit. A woman wears a crocheted top that shows the outline of her bra underneath it. Three women in a gym wear tight yoga pants and crop tops that reveal abdomens.

Desperados VIOLENCE/GORE 3

 – We hear a violent rainstorm and see the top of a downed telephone pole that we hear smashed a car. A car swerves to miss a goat in the road and turns onto its side (the man and the woman inside are unharmed).
► A woman punches a man in the face and he falls against a wall (we see no injuries).
► A woman climbs a stone fence at night and is electrocuted by wires on the top, she falls to the ground, climbs up again, and receives additional shocks before falling on the ground on the other side (we do not see any burns or other injuries). Two men fall to the ground while climbing over the fence and shout in pain. A woman falls on a sidewalk, is knocked unconscious and when she revives, she is woozy; we see her briefly with a small ice pack on her head. Men and women in large plastic bubble suits play soccer and fall (no one is hurt). A woman follows a cat up a tree, it scratches at her, she grabs it, and she falls to the ground (she and the cat are unharmed).
► Three women argue loudly several times; in one scene, one woman tosses a glass of water in another woman’s face. A man and a woman argue in a few scenes. A hotel manager evicts a woman for pedophilia and she is put in jail, but is released (because no pedophilia occurred and the preteen boy she was supposed to have molested bailed her out). A woman threatens another woman saying, “I’ll pop you like a balloon.” A woman shouts at strangers in a café and walks out. We hear that a man’s father died and another man’s wife died.
► A man in a hospital bed wears a padded collar at the neck and a boot on one leg and foot, saying he was in a coma after a car accident; he uses a wheelchair and his face is slightly bruised.
► A woman collapses in a hotel, a preteen boy gives her CPR and mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, she gets up, another woman punches her in the face, and she vomits large chunks of brown material onto her attacker’s face. A man on a plane clips his toenails loudly and a woman looks on in disgust. A woman complains loudly that when she delivered her son (now a preteen) she had an 18-inch episiotomy. A woman spits out chip dip that contains crickets and we see brown material fall towards the floor.

Desperados LANGUAGE 9

 – About 41 F-words and its derivatives, 20 sexual references, 26 scatological terms, 24 anatomical terms, 14 mild obscenities, name-calling (crazy, loco, nuts, dumb, insane, weird, lunatic, psychopath, sociopath, sluts, whore bag, jackass, ridiculous, liars, goop, joke, pedophile, tiny pervert, molester, Suge Knight), exclamations (shut-up, zip it, shut it, aye yai yai, oh my gosh, oh my goodness, oh boy), 2 religious profanities (GD), 73 religious exclamations (e.g. Oh My God, Oh God, God, My God, Thank God, I Swear To God, Wrath Of God, God Knows Where, Holy [scatological term deleted], God Bless, Shabbat Shalom, Mazel Tov, a busload of people chant “Ommmm”). | profanity glossary |

Desperados SUBSTANCE USE

 – A woman says, “I prefer my shamans with MD degrees and Vicodin,” a woman on a plane gives a man a Percocet tablet and he falls asleep, a man jokingly says that he knows drug dealers, and we see a pill bottle on a bathroom counter. A man and a woman in a restaurant have glasses of wine in front of them but do not drink and two women across the room sip margaritas while two men at a table drink from beer bottles, a man and a woman sip wine in a restaurant, several men and women at a pool party hold glasses of wine and do not drink, a man and a woman sit on a dock and sip cans of beer, two women drink short glasses of whiskey and a third woman sips gin from a rocks glass (they become inebriated slurring their words and send an angry incoherent email to a man), we see four bottles of wine and an empty gin bottle on a coffee table, a woman pours three glasses of wine and we do not see her or two other women drink, and an untouched glass of wine is shown on a counter.

Desperados DISCUSSION TOPICS

 – High school sex, relationship addiction, gambling and alcohol addictions, infertility, adoption, organized religion, interracial dating, relationships, blind dates, success tied to having a boyfriend, independence, growing up, friendship, unconditional love, conflict, reconciliation, New Age gurus.

Desperados MESSAGE

 – Having a boyfriend is not a good definition of success.