Movie Ratings That Actually Work    Become a Member

"One of the 50 Coolest Websites...they simply tell it like it is" - TIME

NEW THIS WEEK

IN THEATERS

NEW ON VIDEO


advertisement


advertisement

The Master of Disguise | 2002 | PG | - 3.3.3

Pistachio Disguisey (Dana Carvey) has gone through life feeling he is different than other people, but never really knowing just by how much. When his mother and father are kidnapped by a criminal mastermind (Brent Spiner) he discovers that he has the power to disguise himself as anything -- from a turtle man to a lump of grass with a cow pie on it -- and he's off to the rescue. Also with Jennifer Esposito, Harold Gould and James Brolin. [1:20]

SEX/NUDITY 3 - A man kisses a woman and they hug, a woman kisses a man, a man and woman nuzzle and kiss in a couple of scenes, and a man and woman kiss. We see a woman in a body suit and skirt that expose cleavage and bare thighs. A man's shirt is unbuttoned and we see his very hairy chest. Women are shown in tight-fitting outfits that reveal cleavage, bare abdomens, and bare thighs throughout the movie. A man flirts with a woman in several scenes, a man massages a woman's shoulders, and a man kisses a woman's hand. A man lifts up a nude baby and we see his bare bottom. There are many references to the fact that a man has an attraction to women with very large posteriors; one scene shows three women trying to taunt him by wiggling their bottoms in his general direction. Two men admire a woman as she walks away from them and it turns out that it was a man. People dance at a party. A woman (a man dressed as a woman) tries to flirt with a man and makes a few sexual comments (she talks of desires, making babies, etc.). A man's pants are pulled down a couple of times and we see his boxer shorts. There are some illustrations that show people in different outfits and a few of them are of women and men with shell-covered chests and bare abdomens. There are some romantic references: a man calls women "love cake" a few times and "future mother of my babies."


the review continues below...

VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - The violence is cartoonish and there's no gore. A man fights many "ninja" guards with punches, kicks and flips. A woman head-butts a man three times. Two men fight with punches and slaps and one ends up being knocked out. A man is slapped in the face, head-butted and knocked into a pool. A man grabs another man by the throat and throws him across the floor. A man is snatched up by a T-Rex and we see his legs dangling from its mouth (there's no blood or gore). A man is grabbed by two men in an alley and he is forced into their car (he punches them a few times in the process). Men remove rubber masks many times and the faces look distorted as they are tugged upon, and a man shakes his head a few times and we see his face morphing into someone else. A woman's face is covered with a handkerchief and she apparently falls unconscious. A boy is hit in the head with a locker door. A man is tackled by a woman and she slaps him in the face. A man chases another man on top of a lunar module, one falls back but grabs hold, and the other steps on his fingers trying to make him fall. A man is chased by two men. A man shoves, yells at and threatens another man, and a man is shoved to the floor by another man. We hear that a woman has been kidnapped. A man is slapped in the face many, many times in different scenes; sometimes he is slapped by another man and sometimes by a wooden training dummy (although he frequently falls to the floor, these slaps appear to be more for comic effect). A man slaps another man in the face and runs away, the chase leads them down an alley and we hear several more slapping sounds. A woman has a chain around her ankle and when she reaches the end of the chain she falls to the floor. A woman spreads open her skirt and flies off a wall. A boy blows up a lab experiment and we see his charred face and singed hair. A boy grabs on to strands in a gym and is slammed into a wall. A boy falls off his skateboard many times and crashes into things or falls onto the sidewalk. A man (dressed like a turtle) snaps at a man, and the same man bites the nose off of another man and then spits the nose out, which re-attaches itself to the man's face (there's no blood or gore; while the nose is missing, the man's face does not sport a hole). A man in an inflatable suit floats through the air and when the suit is popped by a thrown dart he crashes to the floor. A man talks about a shark having attacked some children. A snake lunges at a man's face and they eventually end up kissing each other. A man holds a "shrunken head" in his hand. A woman is threatened a few times with flames flaring up in the kitchen where she's working and hands reaching up through a counter top covered with flour. A man talks about pushing a man over a cliff. A man does the Heimlich maneuver on another man who is not choking. We see a house that has been ransacked. A baby slaps a man in the face. A man hits a wooden dummy with a wrench. A man is tied to a chair and threatened by another man. A man dressed as a cherry pie sloshes and squishes and spits cherries at people (one man is hit in the forehead by a cherry and falls to the floor unconscious). When a "ball of knowledge" is employed it turns into a large, glowing bubble with the image of a man's head in it. The opening credits are accompanied by music that sounds eerie and fantastical and we see a book of magic, candles burning and other magical paraphernalia. We hear the scores from "The Exorcist" and "Jaws" in a couple of scenes. A man steps in a pile of cow feces, a man is disguised with a pile of cow feces on his head, and a man flatulates in many scenes. There are several scenes with people yelling at other people. When shaking hands, one man squeezes the hand of the other man to the point of pain. A man carrying many plates full of food is tripped by another man and when he falls he dumps the food on people's heads. A man is shown in a dumpster looking for clues.


the review continues below...

LANGUAGE 3 - 1 scatological term, 10 mild anatomical terms (e.g. "wiener" and "tiny nuts"), 2 mild obscenities, some name-calling.


the review continues below...

SUBSTANCE USE - People are shown drinking alcohol and smoking cigars.


the review continues below...

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Sorcery, disguises, greed, being different, evil, destiny, pressure, honor, dignity, instincts, the black market.

MESSAGE - You can do whatever you set your mind to.

CAVEATS

Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.

We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.

Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.


advertisement


advertisement

NEW THIS WEEK

IN THEATERS

NEW ON VIDEO

how to
support us

PLEASE DONATE

We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.

NO MORE ADS!

Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we don't always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.

how to
support us

PLEASE DONATE

We are a totally independent website with no connections to political, religious or other groups & we neither solicit nor choose advertisers. You can help us keep our independence with a donation.

NO MORE ADS!

Become a member of our premium site for just $2/month & access advance reviews, without any ads, not a single one, ever. And you will be helping support our website & our efforts.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.

Join Our Weekly Updates

Join Our Weekly Updates

Receive the latest information on new reviews

We won't sell or share your email address with anyone

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This