Machete | 2010 | R | - 8.10.8
Inspired by the trailer featured in Robert Rodriguez's "Grindhouse": With the help of an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent (Jessica Alba) and a taco truck driver (Michelle Rodriguez), a former Federale (Danny Trejo) begins a Mexican-American uprising after being framed in the assassination attempt of an unscrupulous anti-immigration proponent (Robert De Niro). Also with Steven Seagal, Jeff Fahey, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson and Lindsay Lohan. Directed by Robert Rodriguez & Ethan Maniquis. [1:45]
► A young woman and older woman walk into a swimming pool, presumably fully nude (we see their bare breasts) as the younger woman discusses how people like to "see live videos," implying they are going to film a pornographic movie. A man approaches a swimming pool and a young woman and an older woman invite him to join them; he takes off his shirt (his bare chest is visible) and kisses both of the women, as a camera films them; the video is later watched by another man.
► It is implied that a woman pulls a cell phone from inside her vagina (we see her buttocks and hand reaching towards her crotch, a squishing sound is heard, and she is then seen holding a cell phone).
► A young woman and an older woman are seen sleeping on a sofa; it is implied that they are fully nude -- their bare breasts are visible, and when the young woman stands up, her hand slightly obscures her breasts while the older woman's bare breasts are fully visible.
► A man places his hand on the upper thigh of a woman wearing short shorts, she straddles him on a bed and it is implied that they have sex.
► The side of a woman is seen, implied to be fully nude (the profile of her bare buttocks and breasts is visible) as she stands in a shower. Women wear bikinis as they surround a man. Women are seen wearing short dresses and short shorts, and cleavage exposing shirts. A woman wears only a bra and pants as she walks around. A shirtless man is seen on a film momentarily.
► A man and a woman kiss passionately as the man drives a motorcycle; the woman straddles the man, facing him with her legs wrapped around his waist as they kiss. A man and a woman kiss.
► We hear that a man has been recorded confessing multiple times about having "impure" thoughts about his own daughter and we see the man on a video discussing how he wishes his daughter thought of him as "more of a man." A man makes a crude remark after a woman accuses him of looking at her suggestively and the man is obviously staring at the woman's buttocks when she bends over.
► A man and a woman lie side-by-side fully clothed and sleeping on a bed with the woman's head on the man's shoulder.
the review continues below...
► A man swings five surgical tools from a rope and they slice into the chest and neck of five men holding large machine guns: blood pours from their wounds, as they fall to the ground, and the man shoves the tool into another man's torso, reaches in, pulls out a large piece of intestine, uses the intestine as a rope and swings out a window, yanking the bloodied man against the window (blood is seen covering the walls as people lay on the ground, mangled and bloodied).
► Five men holding guns surround a house: one man approaches, puts his ear to the door, and a machete is shoved through the closed door and the man's head (blood pours out of the wound); three men enter the house and are killed -- one man is stabbed in the eye with a corkscrew (blood is visible as he falls to the ground), one man is struck in the neck with a meat thermometer and another man is beheaded with a meat cleaver -- an explosive is thrown, the house is engulfed in flames, a man stumbles out the door, a body is thrown through the air and lands on the windshield of a car, a woman screams and we see a meat thermometer sticking out of the charred man's neck, reading "extra crispy."
► A wounded man is seen tied to a large cross, we watch as another man drives a large spike into the man's wrists (blood pours from the wound as the man screams), another man stands at the bottom of the cross, shouts at the hanging man and then drives a second spike into the man's other wrist; the man's dead body, bloodied and hanging from the cross, is later discovered by a man and a woman and video flashbacks of the man having the nails driven into his wrists are shown to a group of men and women, who scream in horror, and the incident is later heard being described by a news reporter as, "A priest had been nailed to a cross."
► A man shoots two men in the face and chest (blood is visible as they fly backwards), uses a machete to cut off the hand of another man, lifts up the bloody dismembered hand, still holding a gun, and uses the gun to shoot another man.
► Several people get out of the back of a car and walk (a young, pregnant woman is visibly ill), a truck chases them, a man in the truck shoots one of the men in the leg (he falls to the ground), and another man in the truck stands up and instructs a man to film him as he shoots the pregnant woman; she falls to the ground, bleeding, and the injured man watches, until he's shot again in the chest (blood pools on his chest) and the man holding the camera vomits (we hear the sound of vomit as well as seeing the vomit come from his mouth).
► An older man runs as a truck with four men in it shoot at his feet: the man leaps onto an electric fence and is electrocuted, while one of the men in the truck shoots him in the chest three times (blood pours from the wounds).
► A man uses a machete to cut off the head of a man (blood flies through the air), shoves a door open and is surrounded by three men, whom he beheads (blood flies through the air as the three heads hit the ground with a thud).
► A man instructs another man to watch as he chops off the head of a bound woman (her bloody disembodied head is seen hitting the ground) and then holds the sword to the man's neck and threatens to chop his head off, but kicks the man in the face instead, walks away and sets the room on fire.
► Several armed men walk into a church, a man dressed as a priest shoots two of the men in the face (we see portions of their faces, tissue and blood flying from their heads), and three men open fire in the church: pews splinter, the man dressed as a priest fires back, hitting one of the men, who fires back, hitting the priest in the leg (blood pours from the wound).
► Two men fight, one man with two machetes and the other holding two large swords: they avoid one another's blades until the man with the machetes shoves the knife into the man's chest, the man pauses, twists and digs the knife into his chest (blood is seen coming from the large wound in his chest).
► A woman stabs a man in the leg with a machete, he falls to the ground and another woman and man enter the room; the second woman shoots the first woman in the head, point-blank (we see blood pour from the wound as she hits the ground) and the second man holds a sword over the injured man's neck.
► A man shoots another man in the head at point-blank range as he walks into a room; he then shoots three more men in the chest and head (blood flies through the air) and shoots another man in the stomach (we see blood pour from the large wound). A man is shot in the chest at point-blank range twice, blood pours from the man's chest as we see him struggle and a second man appears with a machete, about to attack him but drops the machete and watches as the man bleeds to death.
► Three men break into an apartment where a man shoves a woman off a bed, and the man fights the intruders while the woman stabs one of the intruders with a triangular vase; the man stabs one of the intruders with a broken piece from a mirror and blood pours from the wounds, and the woman attacks another of the intruders, who is wearing a luchador mask, by sticking a high heeled shoe into his eye (the woman removes the mask and the blood empty eye socket is seen).
► A man shoots a woman in the eye (we see her knocked to the ground), and it is implied she is dead but she is later seen unharmed, although with a patch over her eye.
► Two men dressed as police officers discuss how a man in the backseat of their car is going to be "hung" and killed for his crime of shooting a politician; the man stabs a machete through the seat and the torso of the driver, the car swerves out of control, hits a building, catches fire and the man in the backseat kicks out the back window and crawls out, escaping before the car blows up (presumably the other two men are killed in the explosion).
► A man drives a car into three men that are firing machine guns at the car, the passenger of the car is seen being shot in the neck (blood is visible) and the car runs over the three men and crashes through the wall of a building (the passenger is seen covered in blood and presumably dead). A truck crashes through the wall of a room, running over two men (no blood is visible) and other men in the room run away. A car using hydraulics smashes a man.
► A gunman takes aim at a man at a podium, a second man shoots the gunman (we see blood on his arm and shoulder and he is later seen dragging a trail of blood along a wall), who shoots at the man at the podium and hits him in the leg; people scream and run for cover and the man shot in the leg is later seen recovering in the hospital (the shooting scene is replayed multiple times).
► A man chokes another man with a cable, as another man watches on video chat. A man is asked if he would like to fight for money, and he agrees and enters a ring; another man attempts to punch him multiple times while he ducks out of the way, and the man then accidentally punches a pipe and bloody bone is shown sticking out of his hand.
► A man uses a nail gun to shoot nails into a man's hand, nailing it to a wall (we see a small stream of blood) and then uses a pair of garden shears to pin the man's neck against a wall.
► A man knocks another man on the forehead with a pike (the man is later seen unharmed), and then uses a weed whacker to cut another man's hands and face with the spinning blades; he puts tape over the two unconscious men's mouths and shoves them into some bushes.
► A bleeding man with a mop handle attacks another man, knocking him to the ground, and he grabs a second man and holds a gun to his head, as he approaches three armed men, whom he kicks, knocking them to the ground; he then runs away as the remaining man fires at him, missing.
► A group of cars approaches a bunker, one of the cars fires a missile that blows up a guard shack (we see a man flying through the air) and then a fence, as the other cars pour into the bunker, followed by countless men and women holding machine guns, machetes, garden tools, swords and shopping carts full of weapons.
► A man pushes the limp, unconscious bodies of a nude young woman and a nude older woman into the back of a car, and he later shows the women to a second man, who helps the women up; they later are seen waking up from a drug-induced haze.
► Men are seen in a group standing around two other men who punching one another (one of the men falls to the ground).
► A man with blood on his face, chest and clothing is seen lying on a hospital gurney as a doctor and two nurses work on him; he is seen moments later fully recovered and pulling tubing out of his chest
► Two men dressed as police officers tackle a man, and one of them holds a gun to his head as he lies on the ground.
► A man experiences a flashback, and we see a woman's head being cut off. A video is seen of a person zipping up a body bag over a deceased man's face.
► A man pulls the emergency brake as a woman drives a car, causing the car to spin out of control; he then points a gun at the woman's face and instructs her to drive. A man grabs another man out of the driver's seat of a car, throws him to the ground and takes the car.
► Two young men watch as a building burns. A woman shows two young men a warehouse full of guns. Men and women prepare guns and are seen putting large guns and missile launchers on cars. We see a man and a woman watching an animated video of people running into a wall and being electrocuted. A group of people dressed as soldiers are seen attacking and tearing at dummies hanging from a pole.
► A woman angrily shouts at a group of men. A group of men holding guns tell another man with his hands bound, that they are going to "broadcast his execution." A man holds up a walkie-talkie with a man shouting that the man is going "... to get everyone killed"; he smashes the walkie-talkie in his hand. A man holds up a picture of a woman and tells a man that the woman has been kidnapped and drugged. A man offers another man money to kill someone. Men discuss how a man had hired another man to kill someone. A man and a woman watch a video of a man discussing how a man had been hired to kill someone. A man tells a woman that he is going to make her watch as he kills a man. A man tells another man that he will make the man watch as he kills another man. Men and women discuss death, including a man telling a woman that another man had been killed, and a man announcing that another man had been shot to death. Two young men tell a man that another man is going to kill him. We see a commercial where a man says he wants to build a fence that will electrocute people if they cross the border. A man is told that another man had a bullet lodged in his brain, which saved him from another bullet that entered his head. A man tells another man that a tool is used to scrape the flesh from a skull and another surgical instrument can "cut flesh like butter."
► A man walks into a room where a young woman is lying on a bed, he drags her out of the building, and she turns her head and vomits (we see the vomit leaving her mouth and hitting the ground). A woman asks a woman to "hold the spit" from her drink, and the woman turns her head and spits from the side of her mouth (we see the spittle leave her mouth).
the review continues below...
the review continues below...
the review continues below...
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
NO MORE ADS!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we don't always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.
NO MORE ADS!
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
We welcome suggestions & criticisms -- and we will accept compliments too. While we read all emails & try to reply we do not always manage to do so; be assured that we will not share your e-mail address.