Austenland | 2013 | PG-13 | - 5.4.3
After a lifetime of idealizing Jane Austen's novels, a woman (Keri Russell) takes a dream vacation to a theme park in search of her own Mr. Darcy. Also with JJ Feild, Jennifer Coolidge, Bret McKenzie, Georgia King, James Callis, Jane Seymour and Ricky Whittle. Directed by Jerusha Hess. [1:37]
- A woman kisses a man, the man lays the woman on the ground and we see her wrap her legs around his legs as they kiss passionately with the man on top of the woman. A man and a woman are seen in the background, kissing passionately with the woman wrapping her legs around the man's waist as they kiss. A man holds a woman's face in his hands and they kiss passionately. We see a man watching a video of himself kissing a woman passionately and her leg is hitched around the man's waist. A man and a woman kiss passionately. We see a man and a woman kissing passionately on a dance floor. A man grabs a woman's arm and they kiss with their arms wrapped around one another. A man kisses a woman. A man and a woman kiss. A man kisses a woman's arm and hand and tells the woman that she is a "sensual creature." A woman kisses a cardboard cutout of a man on the lips. A woman kisses a man on the cheek. A man kisses a woman's hand and holds her hand to his face. A woman makes a kissy-face at a man.
► A man takes off his shirt seductively and we see his bare chest as he offers his shirt to a woman to wipe her face; another man chides the man for then continuing to walk around shirtless (his bare chest and back are visible) and we later see the man with a vest on, but still shirtless (a portion of his bare chest is visible). A woman stares longingly at a man and the man's shirt is slightly open revealing a small portion of his bare chest. We see a man wearing boxer-style underwear with a long coat (a portion of the man's bare chest is visible). We see a woman being pulled into a corset (we see a majority of her breasts though her nipples are not visible) and the woman pulls on her cleavage to readjust; a second woman is seen in a corset and her cleavage is visible. A woman grabs a bust-enhancing insert from a woman's dress and hits the woman in the face with it (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details). A woman jokingly grabs her breasts (she is fully clothed) and remarks to another woman that her cleavage will look good in a costume. A woman pulls up her dress (we see long bloomers and solid-white stockings). We see a woman wearing a very tight, cleavage-exposing dress. Throughout the movie, we see a woman wearing low-cut, cleavage exposing dresses. We see a shirtless man (his bare chest is visible). During a play performance, a man is seen wearing a toga-like robe that he opens to expose a portion of his bare chest; the man later takes off the top portion of his toga and his bare chest and back are visible through the remainder of the play. We see a small portion of man's bare back exposed when, during a fight, his shirt is lifted (the man has a tattoo on his lower back).
► A man does a suggestive strip-tease dance on a stage in front of a crowd of women; he takes off his shirt and throws it into the crowd and a woman dives for the shirt, and then tries to climb onto the stage, shouting about how aroused she is by him (we see the man's bare chest and back as he dances). A woman obviously stares at the crotches of a dozen men (they are fully clothed) and she makes a sexual remark to another woman about being excited to be at a resort.
► An older man tries to make a pass at a woman, he tries to grab the woman and force himself upon her, and he touches her arm seductively; the woman is obviously upset by the man's advances and when he tries to pin her against a wall to kiss her, she shoves him backwards and two men come to her rescue. A man tries to kiss a woman; the woman pushes the man away and the man storms away. A woman tries to kiss a man, pulling his face closer and closer to hers; the man is obviously miserable and after a few seconds of struggle relents and allows the woman to kiss. We see a woman trying to kiss a man; the man is obviously uncomfortable and tries to avoid being kissed, ducking away and trying to pull his head away from being kissed. A man dips a woman and asks her to kiss him, and then pushes himself away. A man seductively smells a woman's neck and grabs her waist; he spins her around, their faces are very close and they are interrupted. A man and a woman hug.
► A man makes a series of sexual sounding remarks to a horse (like "You're a little bit tight" and "I'll have to give you a rub down tonight") and a woman overhears the man and believes that he is speaking to her until he clarifies that he is speaking to a horse (the woman is embarrassed). A woman instructs two other women that they "will experience" romance with a man during a resort stay, but then instructs them that they are not allowed to touch the men. A woman makes up a statement as she appears to be reading aloud from a book; the woman says that a man would have sex with a woman and call her the next day and one of the two women listening acts horrified and states that at that time, people would have never been alone in a room together before marriage, let alone have sex. A man jokingly tells a woman that he wears, "short shorts." A woman makes a vaguely sexual comment about people being in the room while she has sex. A woman shouts at a man, saying that he had been paid to kiss her. A man asks a woman about the etiquette of a man and a woman being in the woman's bedroom without supervision. An older man makes a crude remark to a woman about her scent being "intoxicating." A woman exclaims, "intercourse" meaning sex, after a woman uses the phrase, "social intercourse." A woman tells another woman that she is wearing her favorite bloomer-style underwear "just in case" to a dance. A woman sings a song with lyrics about taking off people's clothing. We see three women and three men singing and dancing along to a song with lyrics about taking off people's clothing. A man chides another man for flirting noticeably with a woman. A man makes a crude remark that he would like to, "slap that between a bun," about a woman. A man jokes that people during the regency era did not wear underwear and a woman interrupts him, saying he is wrong.
► A man grabs a woman and rips her skirt (she is wearing bloomers that cover her thighs and long stockings), he lifts her onto a horse, climbs on behind her and they ride the horse together; the man helps the woman down from the horse and she attempts to walk modestly, covering herself as she walks away from three men and a horrified woman (a portion of her bloomers are visible). A woman grabs a man's head and shoves it in her cleavage as she jokingly tells him man to look for something in her eye. A man smacks a woman on the backside with a ruler and the woman acts disgusted when the man remarks that she cannot find anyone better and her biological clock "is ticking." A woman tries to rub her leg against a man's leg, under a table; the man looks panicked and grabs the woman's foot between his knees. A man grabs a woman by the waist and lifts her off a horse. A man rubs a woman's arm seductively. A man wraps his arms around a woman to instruct her how to hold a gun for target practice. A man grabs a woman's hand and they hug gingerly. A woman leans her head against a man's shoulder. During a play performance, two couples (a man and a woman) flirt near-continuously, including a woman being dipped by a man. A woman wedges herself between a man and a woman.
- A man leaps onto another man, tackling him to the ground where they wrestle and one of the men puts the other man in a headlock; we see them kicking around on the ground and a woman tries to pull them apart, but she is also knocked to the ground until the fight breaks up and all three stand up unharmed. A man purposely shoves a man to the ground as he walks past him and we see the man sprawled out (he gets up unharmed moments later). A man punches another man with the back of his hand. A man angrily punches a cardboard cutout of a man. A woman slaps another woman in the face with the woman's bust-enhancing insert; the woman attempts to lunge at the slapping woman and a man grabs her arms and holds her back. A woman snaps closed a piano cover on a woman's fingers. We see a woman startled when she sees a man in the dark and she strikes a ninja-like pose (the man laughs).
► We see dead birds launched into the air and shot by men and women during target practice and the birds blow into bits when they are hit (no blood is visible). We see a man brushing a pregnant horse and we later see a foal with blood and a small amount of tissue on it; the foal stands up and we see blood on the man's hands and shirt.
► A woman watches a television and we see a man being "shot" in the chest five times; it is obviously fake and we see the fake blood packets burst beneath the man's shirt in five spots as he twists in fake pain. During a play performance, a woman accidentally shoots another woman in the eye with a prop bow and arrow; the woman shouts in pain and holds her hand over her eye (we later see the woman with a bandage over her eye as she tells the shooter and another woman that her eye is now "infected"; we see a small circle of what could be blood seeping through the gauze). During a play performance, we see two men play-fight, one of the men accidentally gets his cane stuck on the other man's upper thigh and they struggle and fall to the ground (no one is harmed). During a play performance, a man pantomimes being stabbed in the stomach; we see him holding a sword in his arm, but leaning back to make it appear that he has been stabbed.
► We hear breaking glass as a woman smashes a croquet mallet. A man purposely knocks over a woman's teacup.
► A man and a woman are seen shouting at one another. A man tells a dramatic, obviously made-up story, about being involved in a dramatic army story, which ends with the captain of a boat and the crew being dead. A woman jokingly asks another woman if she thinks their horse-drawn carriage would be "robbed by a highway man." A woman half-jokingly tells a woman to "not hang herself" after she uses the example that the woman's life could be worse, saying that people hang themselves every day. A woman half-jokingly tells another woman that she worries about the other woman's safety, because she is in the "creepy tower" of a resort. A man jokingly tells a woman that an area is "very dangerous." A man jokes that being with a woman is like "being in a kiln." A man makes a crude remark that a woman might be suffering from mange or "vapors."
► A woman tells another woman not to use a chamber pot, saying that servants do not know how to take care of chamber pots when they are "piled high" (implied with feces). An older man belches loudly. An older man flatulates loudly in a crowded room. A woman spits out a spray of food when she is surprised. An older man eats a piece of dirt-covered food from the ground. A man makes a remark about drinking breast milk to improve his muscles. A woman pulls a leech off a man's neck (we see no blood and the man does not appear to be in pain).
- 6 sexual references, 1 mild scatological term, 1 anatomical term, 1 mild obscenity, name-calling (horseface, stupid men, little nut, saucy monkey, posh boys, righteous concern, insufferable, little slag, dumb as a light post, bloody Americans, awfully tedious, old wind bag, bore, wanker, rubbish, philistines, particularly creepy, so light on your feet that you look like a nutcracker, tart, even bigger nerd than I thought, such a bore, mad dog, Kiwi actor), exclamations (shut up, shut your hole, knob off), 3 religious exclamations (God).
- Men and women drink wine throughout the movie. A woman smokes a pipe.
- Jane Austen novels, regency era, falling in love, disappointment, heightened beliefs of what is possible, true love, Mr. Darcy, "Pride and Prejudice," fantasy, theme parks, unlikely friendships.
- Losing yourself in fandom can be dangerous, but rewarding.
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