Tyler Perry's A Madea Christmas | 2013 | PG-13 | - 5.4.3
Madea (Tyler Perry) provides no-nonsense wisdom to a small southern town after her friend (Anna Maria Horsford) persuades her to visit her niece (Tika Sumpter) for Christmas. The unannounced visit confuses in-laws as the local Christmas Jubilee breaks open unexpected revelations and family secrets. Also with Chad Michael Murray, Eric Lively, JR Leon, Kathy Najimy and Larry the Cable Guy. Directed by Perry. [1:45]
- A man kisses a woman (they are exes) and the woman immediately pulls back and objects. A wife and her husband kiss briefly at a concert. An overweight man lies in a bed, shirtless but wearing pajama bottoms and he asks his clothed wife if she "wants some of this" and touches his abdomen (sex is implied); he then puts a sheet over his head and she giggles as the scene ends. A wife tells family members that she and her husband play "Ghost and the Damsel," a game in which blindfolded she feels around a room for her husband who is wearing only a sheet, and attempts to "capture the rapture."
► A woman in a Mrs. Santa Claus dress says that she looks like a whole red light district. A woman in a small town tells her friends that the town's only whorehouse closed in 1970. A female sales clerk tells someone to forget about lingerie and buy "big girl drawers," or else she will frighten away men. A woman on a telephone warns her daughter that her farm hand may get fresh with her and the daughter denies this. A woman attempts to fix her daughter up with an old boyfriend and is disappointed when it doesn't happen, especially that there will be no grandchildren. A woman tells a group of children that the notion of the "Virgin Mary" is a lie and the kids just stare at her. An overweight man touches his stomach and tells his family, "This is not fat; it's all foreskin." A man tells his adult son that if the daughter-in-law is vegetarian, that will interfere with parts of the son's anatomy (oral sex implied). A man says that his daughter-in-law has a nice rack. A man tells family members that a dog dry-humped a woman's leg and was sickened because of the woman's ugliness. A man tells a female in-law to put Viagra in the Christmas tree water to keep it upright (please see the Substance Use category for more details). A farmer's dad says his own wife's nipples are like pastry bags; the farmer groans and covers his face. A husband tells his wife that his wiener is cold and she laughs. We hear that a new farmer tried to milk a bull. A woman milking a cow stops and asks a man how he would like it if someone pulled on his testicles that way.
- A woman walks while carrying two suitcases down a dark rural road on a cold night; she sees an overturned pickup truck in a ditch, with the driver stuck inside and she pulls him out as he shouts in pain that his leg is stuck; a gasoline explosion blows them to the other side of the road, where they are uninjured by the blast and as they stand up, another man drives up, exits his pickup, and punches the other man in the face, causing him to fall (we see a large red bruise on the other man's forehead, followed by a small bandage in a subsequent scene); later, in a farmhouse, the father of the man who did the punching says several times that the other man is a bully and deserves the punch.
► An African-American woman riding in a car gets out, says she needs a bathroom and that she will not pee over a bush; she enters what she thinks is a store that provides a restroom and finds a large meeting of KKK members wearing sheets and hoods; she runs out, screaming, jumps in the car and shouts to drive away fast.
► In a loud family argument, a woman threatens to punch another woman's teeth down her throat; the second woman announces that her black father was killed by a white man on Christmas when she was a child; a lot of shouting ensues and we hear that the father was not killed. A farmer threatens a second farmer not to grow corn and take business from him or physical harm will result; later, we hear that the second man has been a bully since childhood. In a classroom, a young girl bullies a boy who lives and works on a farm, but the teacher warns her and the whole class to stop bullying, which is never appropriate. A teacher firmly corrects the student for bullying and stealing a purse.
► A teacher tells students that Jesus and two thieves were nailed on crosses; later, we see that a teacher has tied a bullying, thieving girl to a large cross standing in the classroom and has tied her to it with Christmas lights and placed a Christmas wreath on her head for a crown of thorns. A mayor and city officials argue with a school principal and a teacher, insisting that a nativity and all signs of Christmas be removed from a December school pageant.
► A woman slips in a barnyard and says that it is mud, then shouts that it is cow manure (using a crude term, not fully-enunciated). A woman tells her niece, who has piled furniture up against their bedroom door while visiting another family for the first time, that she must go to the bathroom up to a dozen times nightly (the bathroom is in the hallway); the niece hands her a coffee cup and looks disgusted. A man who punched another man sits with a large bag of ice on his knuckles.
► A father forces his 9 or 10 year-old son to work on their farm extremely early and long hours before school and several hours after school, resulting in failure to do homework; the father bullies the son when he questions the dad's motives, leaning into the boy's face and snarling until the child is frightened. An older woman constantly curses and shouts at people she feels are foolish, lying, or snobbish. Angry with a recent customer, an older woman tells a friend that her medicine is called "Don't Choke That Whore" (please see the Substance Use category for more details). A woman is fired from her sales job and leaves a department store after shouting at everyone and kicking the wooden side of a display case several times. Two scenes include an overcrowded office filled with men and women all shouting at once about small town problems. A woman tells a friend that her whole family died of cancer; the friend reminds her that each relative died of accidents. A woman reports that she had a heart attack and may have another one at any time; and after more shouting, we hear that the woman has never had heart problems. A woman tells her adult daughter that the daughter' asthma will worsen and can lead to cancer; the daughter says she no longer has asthma. A woman tells a man to wear a cup if he is going to talk to a certain woman, implying that the woman will kick him in the groin. A rural town is named "Bucktussle," which is urban slang for "extremely vulgar and distasteful." A woman tells her niece that the white in-laws are not KKK and will not hurt them. A woman tells a second woman that her smile "looks like constipation." An older woman says that people who are bullied will fight back when they have had enough, and that they should fight back.
- 1 not fully-enunciated F-word in outtakes (we hear an F and a bleep), 8 mild scatological terms, 13 anatomical terms, 66 mild obscenities, exclamations (shut-up, hush up), name-calling (stupid, dumb, crazy, dirty, stubborn, rude, liar, farm boy, tramp, whore, Dragon Lady, Stepford Children, satanic, demonic, tofu-farter, redneck), stereotypical references to African-Americans, Caucasians, small town people, farmers, the KKK, rednecks, college educated people, government officials, corporate CEOs, mothers, snobs, 17 religious exclamations (e.g. Oh My God, Lord, Oh Lord, Jesus, God, Praise God, Hallelujah).
- A woman jokes with sales supervisor that she used to sell trees that "make you happy when you smoke them" (implying drugs), a woman asks if a farmer is growing marijuana (the farmer's dad denies it and we do not see any drugs), a woman tells a friend that she forgot to take her medicine "5 mg of Don't Choke That Whore" (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details), and a man tells a woman to put Viagra in the Christmas tree water to keep it upright and she tells him to put it in his own water (we do not see any medication). A man brings a glass jug of moonshine to a family gathering (no one opens it).
- Greedy corporations, bullies, families, money problems, secrets, lying, racism, relationships, interracial marriage.
- Tell the truth, be yourself, and stand up to bullies.
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
Our ratings and reviews are based on the theatrically-released versions of films; on video there are often Unrated, Special, Director's Cut or Extended versions, (usually accurately labelled but sometimes mislabeled) released that contain additional content, which we did not review.
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