The Three Musketeers | 2011 | PG-13 | - 4.6.4
Another adaptation of the classic adventure tale. A young Musketeer (Logan Lerman) joins forces with the three original Musketeers, who are down on their luck, in order to defeat a double agent (Milla Jovovich) and her collaborators as they attempt to overthrow the French king and sink Europe into war. Also with Orlando Bloom, Matthew Macfadyen, Ray Stevenson and Luke Evans. Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson. [1:50]
- A man and a woman kiss passionately. A woman suggestively rubs her leg, which she has propped up on a desk, in front of a man; the man puts his arms around the woman's shoulder as he stands behind her, kissing her shoulder and ear. A man kisses a woman's neck and his arms are wrapped around her. On three occasions we see a teen boy and a teen girl kissing. A young man acts surprised when he sees a teen boy and a teen girl kissing.
► A man grabs a woman, he is about to kiss her, then says he is going to "check her" for hidden weapons and the man bends the woman backwards (sex is implied). A man looks at a woman, she is wearing a tight, cleavage-exposing corset, the woman remarks "I am no lady," and we see the man wrap his arms around her and it is implied that they kiss. A young man and a young woman hold hands and dance while looking into one another's eyes lovingly. A woman drops a key into her visible cleavage and a man stares at the key as it drops.
► Throughout the movie, women wear tight corset tops that expose cleavage. A woman rips off the bodice of her dress and the skirt and we see her in a tight, cleavage-exposing corset top and a short skirt.
► A woman suggestively asks a man if there is anything that she could "take off" for him and the man ignores her question. A teen boy flirts with a teen girl on multiple occasions. A young man reads aloud a letter which states that a relationship had been "consummated"; the young man asks a man if "consummated means what I think" and the man does not answer. A man makes a remark about women and he makes a motion with his hands to signify the curves of a female body. A man instructs a woman to forge a letter that would be planted so it would appear that a man and a woman were having an affair.
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- A teen boy leaps off a ship and onto the roof of a tall cathedral where he and a man fight with punches and swords: the man knocks the teen to the ground multiple times until he is kicked off the roof, the teen grabs onto a gargoyle to avoid falling, he stands up and the two swordfight on the edge of the tall building; the man swipes his sword against the teen's face (we see a small bloody cut) and is about to stab him in the face when the teen grabs the sword (blood pours from his hands as the sword slices his palms) and the two continue to fight until the teen stabs the man in the chest (we see the sword sticking out of his chest as he falls off the roof and we later see the teen with a small cut on his face and blood covering his hands).
► A teen boy with a sword attacks several soldiers that surround him: we see soldiers being knocked to the ground (no blood is visible), and soldiers are kicked and punched as they fall to the ground, three men join the fight against the soldiers and we see soldiers falling to the ground, being head-butted, punched, kicked and knocked out with sticks; a man stabs a soldier through the chest (we see the sword sticking out of his chest) and tackles another (the three men and teen boy are uninjured and we see many soldiers lying lifeless on the ground, without blood visible).
► A woman grabs a sword from a man's belt, she uses it to knock over and stab two other men, she leaps through the air, punching and kicking two men to the ground, and then holding a fifth man at gunpoint, and she shoots the man point-blank (no blood is visible and we see the dead bodies lying on the ground).
► A man leaps out of a canal and is surrounded by five men; he shoots the five men with a crossbow as they begin to draw their swords and pushes two of their dead bodies into the canal (no blood is visible).
► Two large ships floating in the air exchange fire: we see three men, a young man and a teen boy on one ship firing cannons at the other ship filled with men, cannon balls rip through the hulls of the ships and one of the large balloons carrying the ship begins to rip and catch fire; a young man is nearly hit by a grenade as it flies into the ship, the two ships crash into one another, one ship becomes ensnared on Notre Dame Cathedral and the other crashes into it as two men leap onto the ship's balloon and rip it.
► While on a ship floating in the air, a teen boy punches a man and throws another man to the deck of the ship as several soldiers circle him; three men fight several soldiers with punches and swords, two men fall to the deck of the air-ship and two more men are knocked over by a man's sword while the teen boy kicks a man in the stomach and throws another man to the ground.
► A man in a floating ship fires a cannon into a room crowded with other men, we see a massive explosion and men dive for cover; a second man on the ship fires a Gatling gun through the blown-out window of a building, a man in the building dives for cover and multiple men catch on fire, including a man who jumps out the window (presumably to his death) and a man throws a grenade into the room and it explodes in a massive fireball as the ship sails away.
► An unseen man underwater fires an arrow into the neck and through the head of a man standing on the edge of the water and he falls into the water (no blood is visible).
► A man is chained up in a prison with his arms chained to opposite walls, and he rips the chains from the walls and uses them as weapons, whipping them through the air and knocking two men to the ground and smashing the chain and bricks into another man's face (no blood is visible).
► A man holds a woman at gunpoint at the edge of a ship floating in the air, the woman leaps off the side and the man acknowledges that the woman must have died in the fall; we later see the woman, soaking wet, and a different man tells her that she had been "dragged from the channel."
► A man leaps from a bridge onto a gondola, collapsing a tent where a man and a woman sit; the man uses a stick to knock the two gondola rowers into the canal, he shoves the head of the man riding the gondola underwater and then shoves the man off the gondola and into the water.
► Two men clutch their stomachs and shout in pain as they fall over, another man approaches them (we see the man very blurry, from the point of view of the men on the ground), and shoves a man to the ground; the man tells the men that their cups had been coated in poison, the men groan in pain and the man reassures them that the poison will not kill them, saying, "They will wish it had" (we later see the three men fully recovered).
► A teen boy threatens a man, saying he will have to kill him and the boy draws his sword and the man shoots him in the arm with a pistol; the boy falls to the ground and the man presses his sword under the boy's throat, a woman asks the man to leave the boy alone and he throws down the sword and walks away (the boy's arm is slightly wounded and we see a small amount of blood on a bandage).
► Armed guards approach three men and a woman standing at the end of a dead-end tunnel, the guards open fire on them, we see musket balls exploding and the walls begin to crumble around them (they are unharmed); the men fire back at the guards and they are also unharmed.
► A man trips a series of traps in a hallway, and we see arrows firing from one side of the hall to the other; a woman races down the hallway, arrows and morning stars fly past her, she slides down the hallway as small explosions are seen behind her and in front of her and she stands up unharmed.
► A woman approaches a man with her gun drawn and makes a vague threat; the woman looks down and sees that the man has a knife pressed against her stomach and they both drop their weapons.
► Soldiers fire rifles at three men and a teen boy as they gallop away on horseback; they are not struck. A teen boy leaps from a burning building and onto a floating ship; he is about to slip off the side of the ship when a man pulls him safely on board. A man uses multiple small explosives to blow up an underwater tunnel; water rushes through a hallway above the tunnel, carrying a man in its undertow and three men and a woman surface from the water; they are unharmed. A man uses a noose to grab another man and he is pulled off camera. A teen boy kicks a man in the back and the man lunges toward the boy, who shoves him to the ground. A woman holds a man at gunpoint, she fires the gun, and it clicks but does not fire. A woman dives through razor wire strung between two walls (she is unharmed). A teen boy walks into a room where many soldiers have their guns drawn; moments later the teen is escorted away in handcuffs.
► A floating airship crashes into a fountain as people watch; the ship knocks over a pole that swings into a man and pushes him into the fountain and we later see the remains of the airship burning (no one appears to have been harmed by the fire).
► A teen boy rushes through a crowded street, running into people and pushing men and women out of the way, he crashes into a man, the man shouts at him and the boy offers to duel him. A man shouts at three men and a young man and a teen boy, making threats to kill a teen girl that's strapped to the helm of a ship. A man grabs another man's hand and pulls him close with a jolt.
► A ship floating in the air fires a cannon at another airship, the two ships approach one another and a large skeleton and a teen girl are seen strapped to the helm of one of the ships.
► A young man angrily rips the sleeve off his shirt and shouts at a man as he walks away. A man shouts at another man, telling him to shout at a group of people. Two men shout at one another. A man tells another man, "Kill him already" in reference to a teen boy that had offered to duel him. A man threatens to "destroy" a woman if she double-crosses him. A woman warns a man to "take none of them alive" in reference to three men and a teen boy. A man warns a woman that he would take something "from her corpse." A woman asks a man to ensure that she will not be "in the gallows" or killed. A woman tells a man that she would rather not watch several men killed. We hear a narrator say that a man had been assassinated. A man tells another man that a group of soldiers had been attacked. A man tells a young man that three men and a teen boy had killed his soldiers. A man tells a young man that he should punish three men and a teen boy "severely." A teen boy asks a teen girl if she wants him to go to England and steal a diamond necklace while both the British and the French chase after him and the teen girl agrees; the teen boy asks three men if they would like to join him and they agree. Three men discuss how a man had a habit of praying for people he had killed and the man acknowledges that he prays for the souls of the dead, not the dead. A woman warns her teenage son not to get into fights; the teen boy's father then encourages the teen boy to get into fights.
► A young man angrily knocks over a chess set as he and a man play. A man and his teenage son practice fencing. A teen boy accidentally sprays a man with mud as he jumps down from his horse. A woman falls over, acting as though she is fainting and a man catches her. A woman playfully slaps a man on the cheek.
► We see an animation of toy soldiers firing at one another and surrounding an area where a toy man and woman stand with small explosions in the distance.
► A young man vomits from the side of a boat floating in the air, and we hear the sound of heaving but no vomit is visible. A young man tells several men that he does not want to sleep on a patio where birds defecate; we see the young man lying on the patio sleeping and what is implied to be bird feces drips onto his forehead twice. A young man throws an unidentified liquid from a chamber pot onto a man's head. A teen boy spits on the ground, and we hear the sound but see no spittle. A man tells a teen boy that he wrote a ticket for the boy's horse because it had defecated on the ground and it was not picked up.
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- 1 sexual reference, 4 scatological terms (2 mild), 3 anatomical terms, 5 mild obscenities, name-calling (arrogant, foolish, Gastin yokel, incompetent idiot, rascal, the town drunk, cocky, old man, child, reckless, dangerous, impetuous, unarmed in a battle of wit, cold and unfriendly, fool, complete and utter waste of space, a fart in a bottle, usual suspects, tramps, cuckolded teenager with a grudge, impendence, clumsy country boy, idiot, mean, tough, foul tempered), exclamations (shut up, bloody), 2 religious exclamations.
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- Throughout the movie we see men and women drinking wine, three men and a teen boy toast with wine, a man mumbles and appears intoxicated, a man remarks that another man is intoxicated (moments later the man is sober), a man is visibly intoxicated and is thrown into the back of a cart by another man, and a teen boy remarks that a man smells like "the town drunk." A man appears to light a grenade from a cigar that's in his mouth.
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- Musketeers, courage, honor, disappointment, international relations, arranged marriages, magical additions to historical narratives, infidelity in marriage, booby traps, deception, duels.
- Historical novels can be adapted many different ways.
Be aware that while we do our best to avoid spoilers it is impossible to disguise all details and some may reveal crucial plot elements.
We've gone through several editorial changes since we started covering films in 1992 and older reviews are not as complete & accurate as recent ones; we plan to revisit and correct older reviews as resources and time permits.
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