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Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets [2017] [PG-13] - 4.5.3

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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Sci-Fi film set in the 28th century about two agents of the Ministry of Defense (Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne) that embark on an assignment, which involves a mystery that unless they can solve may doom the City of a Thousand Planets. Also with Clive Owen, Rihanna, Ethan Hawke, Herbie Hancock, Kris Wu and Sam Spruell. Directed by Luc Besson. [2:17]

SEX/NUDITY 4 - An alien race is shown with females wearing either small plastic pieces over the lower part of their breasts or a sheer fabric that both reveal cleavage and breasts (no nipples are seen) with short skirts that show bare legs to the hips while the men wear loincloth-type garments that reveal chests, abdomens and backs. A woman is shown wearing a bikini and we see cleavage, bare abdomen, back and legs while a man wears swim trunks that show his bare chest, abdomen and back. A woman wears a bikini under a sheer cover and we see her cleavage, bare abdomen and legs to the hips. A woman's uniform has a breast plate that takes the form of cleavage and breasts. Several scantily clad women (we see cleavage and abdomens) address a man as he walks along a street and they appear to be trying to seduce him. A scantily clad woman (changing her outfits frequently) performs for a man and dances seductively with hip thrusts and dancing around a pole (we see cleavage, bare abdomen, bare back, and bare legs to the lower buttocks); one outfit is a lace body suit that covers a bra and thong underwear (flesh including buttocks is seen through the lace).
 A man and a woman kiss passionately as a scene ends. A man grabs a woman and pushes her onto a chaise and then moves on top of her; she gets away and straddles him as they argue about a relationship. A man and a woman flirt and taunt each other in several scenes throughout the movie. A man kisses a woman on the cheek.
 A woman says to a man, "You've had a woman inside you from the beginning?" referring to an alien's soul. There is a discussion about a man being a womanizer and having many relationships with women "conquests."

VIOLENCE/GORE 5 - A sequence of scenes show aliens of many shapes and sizes boarding a space station/city and greeting humans on-board with handshakes; most of the aliens are bi-pedal and they range from fish-like to lizard-like (some have mouths full of sharp teeth and one resembles the Predator creature and another looks like a fish in a fishbowl on top of a space suit and when it shakes the human's hand it leaves behind a handful of slime.
 A sky is pierced by flames and darks streams of smoke as a war wages in the atmosphere: several large vessels crash to the surface causing the inhabitants of the planet to run for cover in a bunker and one young alien is locked outside the bunker (we see her parents crying and calling for her); we see a flash of bright light and we understand that the young alien died. An alien dies from injuries after escaping from other aliens; the creature's face cracks and it disintegrates into a pile of sand. A man shoots a man in the head at point blank range (we do not see the result). Armed guards open fire on aliens and humans and we see several fall to the ground (presumably dead; no blood is seen). A man slides between the legs of a robotic guard, shoots upward between its legs and blows the head off the guard (we see wires dangling).
 A giant toothed creature chases a man through a crowded market, jumps onto the bus the man escapes in, breaks through the roof of the vehicle and attacks the occupants (we assume they are all killed and we hear yelling but do not see bloodshed); the creature attaches to a flying vessel that it falls from when it speeds up (we see the creature falling toward a planet). An alien is restrained and has bruises and scrapes on its face (from being beaten), a device attaches to the back of its neck and it gasps (it's being tortured for information) as a man says that if this doesn't work, the alien should be killed. A woman fights with two guards and leaves them moaning and handcuffed together. A man holds a weapon on another man and pulls the trigger (it seems to freeze him). An alien prepares a cutting device to cut the skull off a woman (presumably to eat her brain); a man attacks several other aliens stabbing them in the head and chest and slashing others with one being cut across the top of the head (we see the cut and green goo (like blood) and two being pierced with a spear while the woman punches an alien and slashes one with a sword. A horde of armed aliens charge toward a man, a woman and an alien as they charge toward the horde before falling through a grate that dumps them into a garbage heap. A woman punches a man in the face repeatedly (we do not see the result). A man punches another man in the face.
 An alien with many teeth roars in a man's direction, and he runs through a crowded market knocking aliens and merchandise over. An alien shoots a weapon that covers a box attached to a man's arm with heavy metal balls that weigh him down and he falls to the ground. A man speeds through walls, water and other surroundings to reach a flying vessel and chases another flying vessel where it is dragged through a tunnel and left with the pilot unconscious. We see large armed robotic guards in several scenes. A guard is covered with many heavy metal balls that weigh him down and he crashes through the floor. Many alien creatures in a room hold weapons on each other. A woman shoots an alien guard with a virtual reality control device and a man then controls what the guard does. A large fanged creature patrols with a guard in a market. Aliens investigate a crashed vessel and we see a couple of dead bodies in the area (one appears to either have been burned or the body has decayed). A man slams a heavy weighted box onto a manhole and he crashes through many levels below him. Aliens shoot many people and they are covered with blobs of goo that knock them to the ground and unconscious (they are not killed or harmed). A woman shoots toward three aliens as a threat for information. A woman is thrown around inside a sea vessel when she is not buckled into a safety belt and the vessel is chased by giant water creatures with lots of teeth. A man has a cut on his face when he wakes up after being unconscious. A woman touches a butterfly that is attached to a string that is pulled up to giant aliens that are fishing.
 A man yells at another man and a woman about their mission. An alien tells a man, "I'll find you and I'll kill you." A man and a woman bicker about her driving and relationships in several scenes. We hear that a radioactive area is spreading and threatening a space station/city. A man says, "I'd choose death over humiliation." Three aliens tell a woman that a man was murdered. A woman is warned, "Be careful they don't inhale you," referring to giant water creatures. A reference is made to "absolute evil."
 An alien roars at a woman and the woman is sprayed in the face with liquid. A woman puts a jellyfish like creature on her head to find a man and she is covered with goo when she removes it. A small armadillo-like creature is fed pearls and the creature and then seems to pass many like pearls (this is seen in a few scenes). A man is shot by a young alien with what seems like a toy gun and we see a splat of green goo on the man's glasses. A man shoots an alien and it splatters green goo. An alien takes bites of food and spits them out we see some spittle accompanying the food). An alien gags and says, "I'm gonna be sick" (we do not see vomiting).

PROFANITY 3 - 1 scatological term, 3 anatomical terms, 3 mild obscenities, name-calling (pig-headed, suicidal, pigeons, predictable, conceited, dumb [anatomic term deleted], ungrateful, fatty, stupid, savages), 1 religious exclamation (By The Grace Of God). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A man opens and drinks from a bottle of champagne.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Sharing knowledge, peace and unity, apocalypse, humiliation, bad decisions, radioactivity, weapons of mass destruction, weakness, importance, love, destiny, sacrifice, genocide.

MESSAGE - Prepare for the worst.

Special Keywords: S4 - V5 - P3 - MPAAPG-13

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