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Storks [2016] [PG] - 2.3.2

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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In this animated film a top delivery stork (voiced by Andy Samberg) accidentally triggers the Baby Factory, creating an unauthorized infant girl. Frantic to deliver the baby to a family before his boss (voiced by Kelsey Grammer) finds out, he gets help from a woman (voiced by Katie Crown) and along the way they encounter wolves and a pigeon (voiced by Stephen Kramer Glickman). Also with the voices of Keegan-Michael Key, Jordan Peele, Anton Starkman, Jennifer Aniston, Ty Burrell and Danny Trejo. Directed by Nicholas Stoller & Doug Sweetland. A song with unclear lyrics is accompanied by English subtitles. [1:30]

SEX/NUDITY 2 - A baby is produced when a woman accidentally activates a baby-making machine. Millions of letters requesting babies are sucked up into a baby-making machine and a million babies come out a door and ride down a winding conveyor belt.
 A voiceover says that storks used to deliver babies and we see shadows of birds carrying babies in blankets as they fly. A little boy asks his parents for a baby brother and they laugh nervously and say no. A husband and his wife talk about when they will tell their son that storks don't bring babies.
 We see a baby standing on a conveyor belt with bare buttocks to the camera in a couple of scenes. A baby stands in a sink with his buttocks toward the camera (no genitals are seen). A stork and a small pigeon are shown in a steam bath, wearing towels around their mid-sections; later, as the pigeon faces away from the camera, his towel drops, and the image becomes pixelated at the buttocks area. The bottom half falls down in front of a crowd and the woman says, "My pants fell down. Oh, no!"

VIOLENCE/GORE 3 - A stork and a woman hang by their feet from a wooden beam over a campfire in a cave as a wolf pack rushes toward a baby girl sitting near the fire, stops, and two wolves grab each other's noses; one wolf says he will devour the baby and the other says, "I'm gonna bite her arm right off" (they do not bite the baby). A woman falls out of a plane when a stork shouts at her, but he grabs her back inside and says, "You almost died."
 A plane crash lands on an icy cliff where a woman and a stork argue loudly and the stork shouts, "Are you out of your mind?" as he grabs a capsule containing a baby and struggles through a blizzard; a wolf growls and then a wolf pack surrounds him before they knock him out and the screen goes black. A woman and a stork steal a baby and are chased by wolves; they run across a rickety foot bridge that falls after they cross it and the wolf pack forms a suspension bridge with their bodies and a wolf slams his face into a tree accidentally (we see no injury). A woman and a stork with a baby slide down a short hill and swim in a shallow river, chased by wolves; the woman, stork and baby jump into a plane and the woman falls into a crevasse, hanging by her hands until the stork grabs her, and a boat falls into the water and inflates into a raft. Wolves form a plane with their bodies, but it falls apart and they cry as they float away in water; then they form a submarine and chase a stork, woman and a baby.
 Millions of letters requesting babies are sucked up into a baby-making machine; it activates, clanking, and a million babies with purple, blue, and pink hair come out a door onto a conveyor belt after we see big bolts of lightning shooting out of the building and the machine; large gyroscopes spin in the air, a baby burps loudly, a pigeon flies a small drone into a junction box, causing it to spark, and flies outside into a large helicopter where a stork piloting the plane jumps out into a large robot and announces he will destroy the baby making machine; the robot falls into electrical cables and hangs in the air, then falls and the entire factory building collapses to the ground in large clouds of smoke; a stork carries a woman and a baby out of the smoke and to safety and says, "I have so much internal bleeding."
 A stork is tricked into delivering a baby back to a stork's house at the baby factory where the boss stork ties him up into a straight back chair and puts a pacifier in his beak while penguins with no pupils in their white eyes take the baby to a helicopter; a woman frees the tied up stork and they both scream, they fight the penguins (all of the participants shouting in whispers and slapping softly so as not to wake the baby), a penguin and a stork stick forks into each other's bodies (no blood flows) and the woman and the stork steal the baby.
 A woman, a stork, and a baby plan to sneak onboard a ship, a wolf pack formed into a minivan arrives and they steal the baby, but the woman steals her back. A stork runs through a maze of glass walls, and slams into several of them, making weird faces, but is not cut or bruised (the walls don't break); some wolves follow the bird, hit some glass, and a few come away with swollen eyes, and another stork shouts and jumps down from a shipping container, catching the baby, the woman, and the other stork and flies away with them as the wolves form a large broken heart and cry.
 A flying stork drops a baby, catches it in the air, and slides onto the ground, bending its beak (the baby is OK). An airplane runs over a stork in the sky, but the bird is unharmed. Two storks fly and smash into a glass wall, their faces flattened against the glass, without bloodshed. A large bird flies away from the camera and through a large glass window, shattering it with some tinkling noise. A bird bangs it head on a bench and mumbles gibberish. A baby spits milk on a bird. A baby pokes a bird in the eye. A stork deflates a raft using a large knife.
 A large bird with hands squeezes a tiny bird in one hand to make it squeak like a toy several times; he hits two tiny birds into a factory production area from his tower office with a golf club twice, then uses a tiny bird as the rubber ball for his paddle-ball toy, slapping it against the paddle several times as the tiny bird gasps. A wolf smacks another wolf on the top of the head. A woman butts her head onto a stork's head several times as they hang over a fire by their feet and the bird shouts in pain. A woman beats a stork in the head with a large stick and then hits a wolf on the head with a large board.
 A pair of artificial wings used as a parachute floats up to a ceiling light, spark, fall, and set a wall of a building on fire; we see a line of flames through a window as the sprinkler system puts them out. A woman and three flightless birds wear jet packs and fly, making large smoke clouds; one of the birds crashes into the other three fliers and a large stork catches all of them in the air and puts them on the floor. A woman smashes the chimney on her roof with a sledgehammer and we see large clouds of smoke and hear a moderately loud bang. A man and his young son build an amusement park on the roof of their house and a policeman delivers a court order to stop building; the boy cries. A stork slaps a woman's hands away from a space capsule and he tries to fly away with the baby, screeches, and falls to the floor, but is not injured and the baby is unharmed. A small space capsule comes out of a baby-making machine and a baby inside cries briefly. A baby screams inside a small space capsule.
 Two storks growl at each other. Two wolves growl at each other twice. A stork makes weird faces and waves two lit sparklers around, then throws them off-screen. A woman alone in a room pretends to be different people, having conversations with one another. A stork's eyes cross as a woman braids his head feathers. A stork and a woman make funny faces at a baby.
 A little boy points a toy ray gun at his toys and stuffed animals then pretends to fight with his toys; he throws himself down on his back, pretending to be dead with open eyes. A little boy writes a letter asking for a baby brother with ninja skills and he falls out of bed (he looks unharmed).
 A stork breaks a surveillance camera and a woman sends a letter into a baby-making machine; lightning bolts flash as the machine activates and the stork jams a broom handle between two gears (the broom bristles repeatedly slap his face) and he reaches his hand (at the end of his wing) between the gears to push a button and singes his hand (we see the charred feathers and later he wears a sling). A baby girl grabs a stork's beak and he has a vision of her growing up, dancing, throwing her graduation cap in the air, and looking at him while wearing a wedding dress; he becomes tearful and flies away, crying because he misses the baby. A little boy sees a stork with a baby in a blanket flying across the moon outside his window.
 A woman imagines a sequence where she protects a baby: She holds a shield that catches flaming arrows and another shield that catches swords; finally, she clubs a prehistoric lion with a club and it falls below the frame. In a bird's imagination he silently sees a blue planet explode with power waves. A woman imagines a planet erupting silently and power waves destroying barns and other buildings.
 A stork and a woman fly a plane with a helicopter rotor added to the top and the stork screeches in fear briefly as the plane flies away from the camera and we hear the woman's voice ask if his seat is wet (he replies that it's urine and he peed on the seat). A wolf tells a woman and a stork that he will eat a baby and later, that the wolf pack will eat the woman and a stork (no harm comes to any of the intended victims). A stork says that his boss will kill him and, "I'm dead meat." A stork and a woman are up all night with a crying baby and their eyes become bloodshot. A young woman argues with a stork loudly and cries. When a little boy receives a baby sister, he shouts loudly, "I ordered a baby brother!" and when she later kicks a baby bottle over the roof of a house, the boy calls out, "Ninja skills!" A woman and a stork argue loudly and sometimes scream in several scenes. A boy and his father argue briefly. A stork opens his mouth and shouts three times, and the camera zooms into his uvula vibrating. A pigeon that tattles to a stork boss repeatedly, works against a stork and a woman who are trying to deliver a baby to humans.
 A baby knocks away several spoons of goopy food. With the baby's back to the camera, we see a woman adjust a diaper quickly. In two scenes, a stork sniffs the baby's bottom to see if the diaper needs changing and shakes his head. A bird picks up a diaper and sniffs it quickly as a scene ends. A pigeon is shown with swollen eyes and one of his teeth falls out into the floor. A baby licks a glass pane in a door as he looks out.

PROFANITY 2 - 3 mild scatological terms (urine, pee, etc.), name-calling (crazy, insane, stupid, dumb, super-dumb, weird, super-weird, weirdo, savage, sloppy), exclamations (oh my gosh, heck, what the ..., shut-up, screw-up), 4 religious exclamations (Oh My God). [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - A pigeon detective sniffs and tastes some white powder to see what it is and says it is baby powder.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Human reproduction, stork legends, wanting a child, finding your family, different types of families, stealing children, disappointment, working in sales and delivery, power, control, wealth, physical abuse, pretending to like others, workaholics, sacrifice, cooperation, defeating a common foe, diversity, love, anger, sadness, loneliness, contentment.

MESSAGE - Every child is a gift and family is important.

Special Keywords: S2 - V3 - P2 - MPAAPG

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