Movie 43 [2013] [R] - 9.8.10

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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A star-studded cast plays out a series of skits held together by a crazed screenwriter's pitch to a befuddled, reluctant producer who ends up being threatened with being shot if he stops listening. With Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Liev Schreiber, Naomi Watts, Jeremy Allen White, Anna Faris, Chris Pratt, Kieran Culkin, Emma Stone, Jason Sudeikis, Justin Long, Leslie Bibb, Uma Thurman, Kristen Bell, John Hodgman, Bobby Cannavale, Halle Berry, Seann William Scott, Elizabeth Banks, Stephen Merchant, Gerard Butler, Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Johnny Knoxville, Richard Gere, Jack McBrayer, Kate Bosworth, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Patrick Warburton, Terrence Howard and Josh Duhamel. Directed by Steven Brill, Peter Farrelly, Will Graham, Steve Carr, Griffin Dunne, James Duffy, Jonathan Van Tulleken, Elizabeth Banks, Patrik Forsberg, Brett Ratner, Rusty Cundieff & James Gunn. [1:30]

SEX/NUDITY 9 - We see a man and a woman having sex: the man thrusts above the woman and we hear them moaning sexually and a cartoon cat that is having sex with a real teddy bear watches from inside a closet and appears to be shoving a cartoon hair brush in his rectum as he sobs loudly.
 A man and a woman progressively sexually torture their teenage son: The woman tells her teen son that they should "go all the way" and begins to kiss the boy's face suggestively, then pulls away and asks the boy if he "has protection" (the boy looks numb); we see a man open a shower curtain on his teen son and we see the boy's bare buttocks and back as the man makes a crude remark about the boy's pubic hair; we see a man torturing his son, who is implied to be fully nude (duct tape in the shape of brief underwear is seen) as he tapes him to a pole and a man screams a series of crude sexual remarks about the teen boy wanting to perform oral sex; a man shoves his face in a teen girl's chest (her cleavage is visible) as his teen son watches and the boy also sees his mother wearing a tight, short dress; and a man makes a series of sexual remarks to his teenage son, implying that he is sexually attracted to his son.
 We see a fully nude woman (bare breasts and genitals are visible) and learn that the woman is a music player and not human: we see a boardroom as a group of men discuss how teenage boys' hands and genitals are becoming mangled because they attempted to have sex with the music player and their genitals or hands were caught in a high-speed fan (the group watches footage of a teen boy screaming and holding his bleeding hand); a woman shouts at the group, saying that the use of the female form was offensive (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details), during the round-table discussion we see a man missing a hand, implying that he had attempted to sexually touch the female-form music player, a nude woman (her bare breasts are visible and her crotch is covered by packaging) is wheeled out and another man is implied to be touching her genitals (we see him reach into the packaging and pull his hand away in surprise) and we then seen a fully nude woman (her bare breasts are visible) with barbed wire encircling her hips.
 A woman walks in on a cartoon cat masturbating while looking at photos of a man and the woman tells the man that she had seen the cat masturbating and the man does not believe her; we later see the cat "imagine" in a cartoon thought bubble the man kissing the cartoon cat deeply.
 A young man and a young woman kiss passionately as a man and a woman watch: the man instructs the young man to grab the young woman's chest (we also see him pantomiming grabbing a woman's chest) and buttocks; as the young man and young woman continue to kiss passionately with the young woman's leg wrapped around the young man, a man pulls a mask off her face to reveal a man and the young man is shocked.
 A woman opens her shirt to reveal two bare, comically oversized breasts and she invites a man into her apartment, implying that they would have sex (we hear grunting behind the closed door).
 A man and a woman are seen in bed together with the woman wearing a low-cut, cleavage exposing nightgown; she straddles him and they kiss him, the man attempts to defecate on the woman, pulling down his boxer-style underwear (we see his bare buttocks) and the woman laughs and tells him to kiss her instead.
 A pre-teen boy and a pre-teen girl kiss passionately; the girl takes a photo of them kissing using her cell phone and they are interrupted by another teen boy shouting (he's the boy's brother). A man and a woman kiss passionately. We see a man and a woman kissing.
 A woman hands a man her thong-style underwear and the man hands her a turkey baster filled with hot sauce; the woman's hand moves under the table and it is implied that she is injecting the hot sauce into her pubic area and she then begins to sweat and look uncomfortable (no nudity is visible).
 An extended skit shows a man with a set of testicles hanging from around his neck: a woman continually reacts to the genitals, including being disgusted when the man drops soup on them and then licks the soup from his hand, and when pubic hair falls from the genitals into the soup, the man eats the soup and we see the woman gag in disgust; the genitals rest on top of a child's head when the man holds a baby, the genitals hit a woman's shoulder and face and go into her mouth when the man poses for a photo next to her and the woman screams in horror.
 We see a woman's bare breast as she makes guacamole by smashing the ingredients with her breast; we later see the same scene, and a man uses his finger to taste guacamole from the woman's breast, and the woman glares at a second man who attempts to also touch her breast.
 We see a cartoon cat with visible male genitalia and the genitalia move as the cat "walks" and twists and gyrates. We see a man with erect male genitals tattooed on his face, pointing toward his mouth.
 A man dances suggestively with a group of women, shaking his backside (he is wearing a tank top and boxer-style underwear); the man places one woman's head in his boxers and thrusts his crotch in another woman's face. A woman dares a man to pinch another man's buttocks and we see the man obey, he stands next to the man and grabs his buttock (they are both fully clothed), and the man then shouts at the other man and tries to grab him for touching his behind as the woman laughs. We see a pre-teen boy watching a commercial where two women wearing one-piece swimsuits run their hands up their legs suggestively.
 A young man and a young woman are overheard on a grocery store loud speaker making a series of disgusting and sexual suggestive remarks to each other while the young man puts his thumb into the young woman's mouth, rubs her lips suggestively and we hear them say the following: looks like they bathed in a dumpster, born in an abortion clinic dumpster, be inside her, ask about one another's STI, slutty one on the Golden girls, performed oral sex on a homeless person, place fingers in one another's anuses, and put a hickey on the young woman's genitals; a crowd gathers around them and the young woman rushes away while an elderly man makes a series of sexually suggestive remarks encouraging the young man to chase her. A woman describes to a young man how a man would fly outside her window and sexually gratify himself; she then makes a crude remark about the man's ejaculate almost breaking a window and the man using it as a hair gel and we later see the man the woman had been speaking about flick gel from his hair onto the young man, who acts disgusted.
 During a speech to several teen boys, a man shouts at them exclaiming that their genitals are so much larger than that of teen boys of a different race; the man asks a teen boy how large his genitals are and when the teen boy explains that they are one to one-and-a-half feet long, the man is surprised but acts respectfully and the man instructs the boys that they will have to pantomime oral sex on another group of teenage boys. A man describes a young woman's genitals and pubic hair in graphic terms to a young man through an IFB and we see the man under a table, implied to be staring at the young woman's genitals (no nudity is visible); the young woman looks upset when it is obvious that she can hear the man's description of her genitals.
 We see a pre-teen girl with period blood on the back of her pants and where she was sitting on a sofa, she stands up, a pre-teen boy examines the spot of blood by sniffing it and touching it, the girl then drags along a wall and we see a trail of blood behind her and when the boy realizes that it is period blood, he and his teenage brother shout at the girl, who is obviously embarrassed; two men (the father of the pre-teen boy and the father of the girl) enter the room and both make a series of comments about the girl having her period and how messy having a period can be, one man explains to his son in very scientific terms that the girl is losing tissue lining her uterus and we hear the boy shout over the phone to 911 that his friend is "bleeding out" of her genitals while the girl shouts dramatically that she wants to kill herself out of embarrassment and a teen boy tells the girl that she will have to use a sponge to absorb period blood, but jokes that since one side is steel wool to use the other side, or there would be "even more blood."
 A young woman tells two men that she performs oral sex for money. A man tells another man that he is mad that the man had broken up his relationship by having sex with the first man's girlfriend; he then asks if he can have sex with the other man's girlfriend as "payback" and the man explains that his girlfriend had dumped him because he cheated on her. A man tells another man (in front of three additional men) that he had sex with the man's wife at a party and we later hear the man tell another man that he was surprised the man had brought up sleeping with his wife in front of other people. A man tells another man that he had performed oral sex on a man to get access to the other man and he implies that he had performed oral sex on the man against his will. A man holds another man at gunpoint and orders him to perform oral sex on the other man; we then see the man (who would have oral sex performed on him), grab his crotch and make a crude remark about masturbating earlier in the day. A man teases a young man in front of a young woman, implying that he had been arrested for indecent exposure and was secretly married (the young man and young woman are on a date) and the young woman acts upset and leaves. A woman shouts at a man in a crowded restaurant implying that she and the man had a one-night stand and that she had become pregnant "after the bat-condom broke" and acts embarrassed when she shouts that she had to "go to Planned Parenthood" dressed as a super hero. A leprechaun shouts a series of sexual threats at two men, threatening to harm their genitals; a second leprechaun also shouts threats at the two men, threatening to harm their genitals (please see the Violence/Gore category for more details). A man tells several teen boys dramatically that they could use their genitals to dribble a ball during a basketball game. A man makes a crude joke about his genitals. A woman asks a man if he is circumcised and the man implies that he is not circumcised because he is from England where it is not a popular practice. A woman tells a man that she had not been kissed in 24 days.

VIOLENCE/GORE 8 - We see a leprechaun tied to a chair, being held hostage as he shouts at his two captors and threatens them, one of the men receives a threatening phone call from the leprechaun's brother, one of them punches the leprechaun repeatedly (we see blood spray from his face, he spits blood onto the man's face, and we see small cuts on the leprechaun's face, along with chipped teeth as the man continues to punch him), a second leprechaun leaps from a pot of gold and attacks one man knocking him to the ground and holding a knife over his throat as he shouts threats that he will stab him and the leprechaun then shoots one of the captors in the chest (we see blood spray on his chest) and the second in the eye (we see blood covering the man's face and a bloody hole on his face where the eye was); the second man shoots the leprechaun that is still tied to the chair while the man being held on the ground shouts at the man to shoot the other leprechaun, who then explodes in gore and blood, and we see the two men carrying two small clear bags that show the leprechaun's faces in gore and it is implied that the two men are disposing of the bodies (they are covered in blood and gore but appear unharmed despite being shot moments before and we see a bandage over one of the men's eyes).
 A cartoon cat in a real truck drives over a woman, she woman crawls to stand up and she appears unharmed but is covered in dirt and a tire mark, the cat shoots the woman in the stomach with a cartoon shotgun (we see three small bloody bullet wounds on her abdomen), the woman repeatedly beats the cat with a shovel, and the cat bounces from the street and in front of a children's birthday party; at the party the children are horrified when the woman continues to hit the cat with a shovel, a man interrupts her, grabbing the cartoon cat and holding him in his arms as the children attack the woman and we see one young girl stab the woman in the temple with a fork (we hear the sound of her flesh being stabbed with the fork).
 We see a teen boy holding his bleeding hand and screaming and it appears that the tips of his fingers have been chopped off. We see a "commercial" where two women in bathing suits (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details) swim into the ocean and a massive shark leaps into the air with one of the women in its jaws (we see blood spray and the woman's disembodied arm and leg are thrown through the air and a large puddle of blood is seen on the surface of the water).
 A man holds another man at gunpoint; the man shouts at the other man, demanding that he pay attention to him and we then see the man escorting the other man at gunpoint while showing the other man that he is also holding a grenade. We see a man holding a gun in a man's face.
 We see a man and a woman progressively torture their teenage son in a series of embarrassing situations: The woman knocks books out of her teenage son's hands and calls him a slur; a man and a woman shout at their teenage son, a man slams a ball into a teen boy's crotch angrily; a man opens the shower curtain on his teenage son and shouts for people to come see while the criticizes the teen boy's pubic hair (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details); and a man shouts at his teenage son that he has a lot of feces on his chest (we see words written in feces on the teen boy's chest).
 We see a pre-teen girl with period blood on the back of her pants and where she was sitting on a sofa, she stands up, a pre-teen boy examines the spot of blood by sniffing it and touching it, the girl then drags along a wall and we see a trail of blood behind her and when the boy realizes that it is period blood, he and his teenage brother shout at the girl, who is obviously embarrassed; two men (the father of the pre-teen boy and the father of the girl) enter the room and both make a series of comments about the girl having her period and how messy having a period can be, one man explains to his son in very scientific terms that the girl is losing tissue lining her uterus and we hear the boy shout over the phone to 911 that his friend is "bleeding out" of her genitals while the girl shouts dramatically that she wants to kill herself out of embarrassment and a teen boy tells the girl that she will have to use a sponge to absorb period blood, but jokes that since one side is steel wool to use the other side, or there would be "even more blood."
 A story develops around a woman asking a man to defecate on her: We see a man hit by a car (he is unharmed), feces spray from the man, covering the windshield of the car and we see feces on the man's underwear and the street, and a woman acts flattered and holds the man in her arms as she remarks on the massive amount of feces and asks the man if he would defecate on her and the man agrees; three men discuss the man defecating on a woman's chest with one of the men describes what he should eat before defecating on the woman and that he should try defecating on a few other women before defecating on his girlfriend, and we see a man rapidly eating food, then drinking a laxative and then standing over the woman and straining (we hear a series of flatulent sounds and stomach rumblings).
 A cartoon cat sprays urine all over a woman (the stream is non-cartoon and we see the woman covered, from head to toe, including her face, in thick yellow spray); the woman acts disgusted and tells a man that the cat had sprayed her, the man laughs and says it is a sign of affection, and the cartoon cat then vomits and eats its own vomit as the woman watches. A man instructs a pre-teen boy (his son) to pull his finger; the man flatulates loudly and makes a crude remark about flatulence. A man implies to another man that he had been in a car as a woman flatulated in excess. A man spits water out of his mouth after joking that he has to urinate.
 A man grabs another man, and tries to shove him, in retribution for the man touching his bottom (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details). We see a man with male genitals on his neck (please see the Sex/Nudity category for more details) and the man is accidentally struck in the neck with a plate and he gasps in pain and almost falls out of his seat. During a basketball game, a teen boy smashes another teen boy in the face with a basketball; a teen boy elbows three teen boys in the face as he catches a basketball – including smashing his elbow against a teen boy's face so hard that the boy's glasses are thrown off his face and shatter. A man smashes a teen boy's crotch with a basketball, and the teen boy falls to the ground and groans in pain. A man grabs a young man, pulling him toward his chest and threatening to melt the young man's genitals. We see a young woman with obviously fake dynamite strapped to her chest and a young man throws a straw in a man's eye, blinding him, so that he can grab the dynamite from the young woman's chest (the young woman is unharmed). Teenage boys enter the locker room of another group of teenage boys, make vague threats and call the other boys a racial slur repeatedly. We see several men and women act horrified as a woman blows out the candles on a blind child's birthday cake.
 A cartoon cat makes a threatening gesture to a woman, dragging its claws across its neck, to signify cutting off the woman's head. A man is seen shouting (we do not hear the shouting) at a copier machine and he slams his hands against the machine; it is implied that small children are inside the machine and we see one of the young girls crying.
 A woman shouts at a group of men and women. A woman shouts at a man. During a speech, a man tells a group of teenage boys that a race of people had been "spit on" and "dragged through the mud." Two men playfully shout at one another, and half-jokingly act as though they are going to fight; we see one of the men's teenage son's shout encouragement that his father punch the other man "in the neck." A man implies that the Holocaust had caused a lot of Jewish people to not live in Europe. A man warns a young man that he had heard a super villain was going to plant a bomb in the area.
 We see a man get plastic surgery to change his eyes to appear Asian to satisfy a dare by a woman. An African American man makes a series of vaguely racist comments about Caucasians, saying that they are not good at sports and a team of African Americans would beat them at a sporting event.

PROFANITY 10 - About 55 F-words and its derivatives (one mouthed), 36 sexual references, 38 scatological terms (6 mild), 92 anatomical terms (3 mild), 12 mild obscenities, 4 derogatory terms for homosexuals, 13 racial slurs, name-calling (loser, thick skull, idiot, awkward character face, Frankenstein, gutless yes man, pathetic, fat, baby, pansy, chicken, moron, little magical, little green man, Cookie O'Puss, smug, raisin, Nazi, princess, troglodyte white boy, Garfield reject, devil cat), exclamations (shut up), 6 religious profanities, 27 religious exclamations. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - We see men and women drinking at dinner including a man and a woman taking shots of liquor, a man and a woman order alcoholic drinks at dinner, and a man and a woman are implied to be drinking alcohol at a party with teenagers. We see a painting of a boy smoking a cigarette hanging on a man's wall.

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Hollywood, pitching movie scripts, home schooling, deformities, making fun of people who are different, racism, women getting their periods, blind dates, pet loyalty.

MESSAGE - Even movies with many A-list movie stars can be very crude.

Special Keywords: S9 - V8 - P10 - MPAAR

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