Escape from Planet Earth [2013] [PG] - 2.4.2

 
 

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ASSIGNED NUMBERS

Unlike the MPAA we do not assign one inscrutable rating based on age, but 3 objective ratings for SEX/NUDITY, VIOLENCE/GORE and PROFANITY on a scale of 0 to 10, from lowest to highest, depending on quantity and context.

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Sex & Nudity
Violence & Gore
Profanity
1 to 10

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When an SOS from a dangerous planet is announced, the dashing hero of the Blue Alien nation (Brendan Fraser) rushes off to another victory mission only to fly into a trap set by a US army general (William Shatner). His nerdy, by-the-rules brother (Rob Corddry) must now gather the courage to save the day. Also with Jessica Alba, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sofia Vergara, Jane Lynch and George Lopez. Directed by Cal Brunker. [1:25]

SEX/NUDITY 2 - Blue alien women all have large buttocks and wear form fitting knee-length dresses with V-necks; one woman shows a small bit of cleavage and her large breasts bounce inside her dress. An army general sets up a dating page online and we see him pictured bare-chested; later he answers a videophone to his alien girlfriend and she calls him "Shanky-Panky." A 1950s era black and white alien orientation film about Earth says that nudity is not allowed and we see a nude gray-alien in a barrel with bare arms and legs showing. We see statues of a nude woman sitting in a nude man's lap as he embraces her; we see the bare thighs and legs of both, as well her bare abdomen, chest, breasts, arms, and shoulders. An overweight man wears a T-shirt that shows his large stomach when he moves his arms; later, we see him at home, nude except for a towel that reveals chest and stomach; when a power blast from a spacecraft whips off his towel his stomach is so large that we do not see his buttocks or anything else beneath it.
 In several different scenes alien couples kiss briefly and the last kiss occurs at a couple's wedding. A blue-alien man touches a rubber HAZMAT suit in a closet and its gloved "hand" grabs his buttock as the alien smiles coyly while looking at the camera.
 A blue-alien looks at a general wearing an Elvis wig and says, "Don't ask, don't tell."

VIOLENCE/GORE 4 - The film is populated by assorted aliens: some are very slimy, like a 3-eyed talking orange slug with 4 arms and most of the aliens are short humanoids, and powder blue with pointy ears; one alien is a large red female Cyclops with big teeth, who roars, another is a short gray talking mouse, and another is a gigantic purple hairy creature with 4 flailing tongues and slimy teeth, who roars and burps several times.
 We see an asteroid mining gun the size of a large room and made up of huge spheres that can shoot atomic power beams in a building where aliens are held captive and made to invent things for profit (the Internet, iPhones, etc.); when the aliens are not needed, they are frozen in individual holding tanks that fill with pink liquid, and while at work they wear dog collars with electric torture cells (at a touch of a remote control an evil general sends a current that causes the slave aliens to shout, shriek and fall to the floor).
 An alien discovers a 7-11 store on Earth and dozens of army men in hazmat suits brandish cattle prods near him and fire sedative darts at him; the alien uses a force field to drive them back and demolish a helicopter and a jeep without harming people until an army general fires a sedative dart into his neck (please see the Substance Use category for more details). An alien finds a 7-11 and two men inside whoop and shout, and then give him a blue Slushee; the alien drinks it and shouts with a freeze headache until army staff capture him with a force field and take him away.
 On a dark planet, an alien space hero fears that 6 babies were eaten by a pack of 1200 short two-legged creatures with huge goggle-type eyes and large teeth; he finds the babies and carries them away while being chased by the 1200 creatures and nearly bitten, but he reaches his spacecraft just in time.
 Aliens escape from a jail, freeze army staff with freeze guns and take a spacecraft, but before leaving a mouse-like alien is bitten on the tongue by a scorpion, causing him to shout, the army shoots missiles at the aliens as the ships chase through rock columns in the desert, the aliens lose control and a child in another ship takes remote control successfully after a few bumps into rock columns with sparks flying; an army general chases the aliens using another spaceship and during a space walk attaches a tractor beam to their ship, two aliens ride the beam to the general and the three fistfight in the air until the beam turns off causing them to fall (they stop short of hitting the ground when they are caught in levitation beams).
 An army general narrates as we see a flashback to his childhood when the Roswell 1947 flying saucer crash-landed and smashed the general's father under the ship (we hear that the man died); the general shouts in real time that he and the USA will wipe out all alien life forms, a planet at a time, after mining all the resources out of the planets for sale on Earth.
 Two alien women argue several times about whether stay at home moms are respectable and in a heated argument one punches the other unconscious and ties her to a spacecraft seat with bungee cords. An alien hits an army man wearing a HAZMAT suit on the head with a skillet (no blood).
 The army fires several drugged darts into aliens to put them to sleep temporarily; one alien receives a dart to the neck, becomes very dizzy, we see his vision blur from his perspective, and he passes out to fall on the ground.
 An alien and his young nephew play with a roll of large cap-gun caps and accidentally blow up a barrel with smoke and flying dust (no one is injured); later, the boy uses a string of the caps to blow up a holding cell where he and his mother are held captive by alien thugs and they escape (we see shards of glass and some smoke, but no one is harmed). An alien hits an army man wearing a HAZMAT suit on the head with a skillet (no blood).
 An alien fires up a pair of rocket boots when one gets away from him and crashes into a lamp and knickknacks in his house, destroying them; in his nearby lab, the boots break a large glass observation wall and shards are thrown without harm. An alien space hero falls several times throughout the film, accidentally running against walls, and losing his balance when he shows off with karate moves for the public. An alien janitor constantly steps on his mop and hits himself in the face with the mop handle, knocking himself unconscious, but recovers.
 Two alien brothers argue about following instructions several times and one of them argues with his wife about what to do about the brother's disappearance later. Three aliens tell other aliens that what they will do to a captured man would cause nightmares if described (we do not see any action). After a phone call to his alien girlfriend, a general tells a colleague that he is tricking her into giving him all her planet's Blubonium power and then he will blow her up with the planet (please see the Substance Use and Sex/Nudity categories for more details). A computer voice in an alien space launch lab is sarcastic and rude to everyone, saying that they are not capable of accomplishments and do not know anything. A computer voice narrates clips of human films about marching soldiers during the Civil War and WWII and cavemen stomping around, adding that humans are stupid and evolution went backwards on the dark planet Earth; moreover, dinosaurs were beautiful and humans are "ugly, savage and greedy." We hear that an alien woman was arrested for giving her planet's resources to a human.
 An alien space hero belittles his brother and goes against directions to attract additional attention when he saves victims of danger in space. Holograms of a big blue woman's head and a US Army General fill the screen twice.
 A cafeteria line in an alien prison on Earth is filled with moving foods like living octopus legs, worms, a pan of beige matter with a talking face and pans of greenish and red slimy Jell-O: before anyone eats, someone calls a food fight and all the odd foods fly into aliens' faces; three gray-aliens get hit in the face with cream pies and in turn, levitate all the food in the room to slam into other aliens (no one is harmed, just messy). An orange-alien slug on Earth leaves greenish slime on floors, other aliens and tools, and then uses the slime as adhesive. Several aliens burp loudly throughout the film, without eating anything. An alien makes flatulent sounds with his hand under his armpit. In a jail cell, an alien picks up a bucket and is told that it is the toilet; he winces at the information, but we see no contents. A Cyclops on a spacecraft gets airsick and vomits into a paper bag that expands (we see no vomit).

PROFANITY 2 - Exclamations (wicked), name-calling (alien, crazy, stupid, nuts, morons, useless, simple, dumb, dimwits, savage, greedy, macho, runt, suckers, rat, sweetie [sarcastic], ugly, paranoid, Little Miss Housewife, Little Brother), stereotypical references to Corporate America, money and power, overweight Americans, supersizing foods, sugary beverages and foods, energy drinks, caffeinated sodas, US asteroid mining, 1950s US space program, Area 51 and space aliens, alien abductions, corrupt military forces and wars, African-Americans, racecar drivers, people who are different, prejudice, genocide, nerds, inept heroes, stay at home moms, women, families, "trailer trash," obesity, vain men, talk show therapists, scientists, sci-fi filmmakers, 1 religious exclamation. [profanity glossary]

SUBSTANCE USE - An alien is struck by a drugged dart to the neck and becomes very dizzy (we see his vision blur from his perspective and he passes out). A man stands before a videophone screen while holding a glass of wine (he does not drink it).

DISCUSSION TOPICS - Rules and following directions, responsibility, trust, loyalty, courage, danger, space exploration and alien life, genocide, revenge, family, sibling rivalry, corporate greed, obesity, radioactive chemicals, aerospace business and its impact on the environment.

MESSAGE - The greatest adventure is with your family and friends.

Special Keywords: S2 - V4 - P2 - MPAAPG

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